MIAKA 20 BILA MTOTO – HATIMAYE NILIPATA MTOTO | TAZAMA NILICHOFANYA HADI KUSHIKA MIMBA
Jina langu ni Esta, na kwa muda wa miaka ishirini niliishi na maumivu ya kimya ya kuitwa tasa. Niliolewa nikiwa na umri wa miaka ishirini na minne, nikiwa na ndoto nyingi za kulea familia yenye furaha nyumbani kwetu Bungoma. Kama wenzi wengi wa ndoa wachanga, mimi na mume wangu tuliwazia nyumba iliyojaa vicheko vya watoto, vitu vya kuchezea vilivyotawanyika sakafuni, na hadithi za wakati wa kwenda kulala kila usiku.
Lakini miezi ilipita bila mimba. Kisha miezi ikageuka kuwa miaka. Mwanzoni watu wa ukoo walituhimiza tuwe na subira, lakini polepole minong’ono ilianza. Baadhi ya watu walinilaumu waziwazi, huku wengine wakamshauri mume wangu kuoa mke mwingine. Kila mkusanyiko wa familia ukawa ukumbusho mchungu wa kile ambacho hatukuwa nacho.
Tulitembelea hospitali za Eldoret na Nairobi, tukatumia pesa kwa vipimo, na kufuata kila maagizo ya matibabu. Bado, hakuna kilichobadilika. Hali hiyo ya kukata tamaa ilianza kuathiri ndoa yetu polepole, na nyakati fulani usiku nililia hadi nikiwaza ikiwa ningekuwa mama.
Alasiri moja, rafiki wa karibu aliniambia kuhusu daktari wa jadi anayejulikana kwa kuwasaidia watu kuelewa vikwazo vilivyofichika vinavyoathiri maisha yao. Niliamua kutafuta mwongozo, nikitumaini kupata amani hata kama uzazi haukuja.
Wakati wa ziara hiyo, daktari alizungumza kuhusu majeraha ya kihisia-moyo, mizigo ya kiroho, na umuhimu wa kurejesha usawa katika maisha. Nilifuata mwongozo niliopewa na nikarudi nyumbani nikiwa na matumaini mapya.
Miezi kadhaa baadaye, jambo la kushangaza lilitokea. Nilianza kuhisi mabadiliko yasiyo ya kawaida katika mwili wangu. Nilipotembelea hospitali kupima, nesi alinitazama na kutabasamu.
“Wewe ni mjamzito.”
Miezi tisa baadaye, hatimaye nilimshika mtoto wangu wa kike mikononi mwangu. Baada ya miaka ishirini ya kungoja, ndoto yangu ilitimia.
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