Nilivyompata Mke Wangu 4 – 6

NILIVYOMPATA MKE WANGU

How I Met My Wife

ONYO: Wakubwa tu, kuanzia Miaka 18, ndio wasome hii Hadithi

Sehemu Ya 4

Nikaendelea, “kampuni yangu inajihusisha na data security systems na kwakuwa dunia tuliyo nayo sasa ni ya computer, tunapenda kujitolea kutoa mafunzo ya computer skills muhimu hasa ktk modelling industry kwa hawa vijana. Tutawafundisha kwa dkk 40 mara tatu kwa wiki free of charge”. Akauliza jina la kampuni. Hapo hata jina sina ndugu msomaji, nikajitajia tu initial za jina langu, “KiKo solutions Co. Ltd”. Hahaah. Akasema nimuachie bussness card. Nayo Sina. Ila huezi smwambia huna atakuona huna maana, Nikajidai najisearch pale, “dah samahani naona zimeniishia. Ngoja nikuandikie namba”.

Yule promoter, alipiga jioni ileile akaniambia kama ntaweza tuanze kesho yake. Watu wanapenda sana free things. Basi kesho yake nikatia timu after work. Tulikua tumefix time saa 11:20 jioni. Kweli nikakuta mabinti wapo kwenye moja ya kumbi za seminar za hiyo hoteli waliokuwa wameweka kambi. Promoter akanitambulisha pale na kunikabidhi darasa. Swali la kwanza, “Miss Dom wa sasa ni nani kati yenu”, aliposimama, nikamwambia kwa kuwa wewe ni mwalimu wao uje hapa mbele utakua unanisaidia. Kumuangalia vizuri alikua na sura ya kawaida, na kama mnavyojua mamiss wengi hawana nyamanyama, so hata hakunipa mzuka wa kiviiiile, ila nikasema kwakuwa nishavua nguo, ngoja nioge haya maji.

Siku ya kwanza nikawa nawaintroduce kwa programs mbali mbali zinazohusika na designing, manufaa yake na shortcomings zake. Kipindi wakati kinaisha nikamwambia Miss Dom, asubiri tupange mikakati ya kipindi kinachofuata. Wenzake walivyoondoka akasogea karibu, na ndo ilikua lengo, nlitaka pia asikie fresh nnavyo nukia unyunyu nliopuliza. Niliishia kuomba tu namba ili tupange vizuri kwa simu. nikapewa. Usiku wake nikapiga. Tukaongea fresh tu, hasa issue zake za modelling, kazi alizofanya akiwa miss Dom, nikawa namsifia pale alivyo mlimbwende, anasema tu asante.

Kipindi kilichofuata, nikaanza kuwaelekeza namna program za designing zinavyofanya kazi, bahati nzuri nlikua na program za Adobe Illustrator na C-DESIGN. Nikaanza na AI pale, nawaelekeza then mmoja mmoja anakuja tunajaribu nae. Mpaka muda unaisha nlikua nimefanikiwa kupractice na mabinti wanne tu. Yule Miss hakua amepractice. Baadae nlivokua home nika mtext aje nimuelekeze maana its important Zaidi kwake kuliko hawa wengine. Kasema poa. Nikajua huyu kashaliwa, Norah was right after all….

Nakumbuka amefika home kwenye saa tatu usiku kwa taxi. Alivyofika nikafungua computer yangu nikaanza shule. Sasa wakatii anajaribu pale, nikasema hapa hapa. Nikapeleka mkono kwenye kiuno. Akawa anautoa huku ananiambia “acha basi ticha”. Nikawaza, huwa wanasemaga tu, hakuna anayeshikwa akakubali from a go, inahitaji tu kukomaa. Mzee nikapeleka mkono kwenye paja. Ghafla naona mtu kasimama, akawa kama kamind kabisa, then akasema “mi sio Malaya tafadhali, jiheshim” then akachukua pochi yake akawa anatoka. Nikamuwahi mlangoni, nikawa nambembeleza abaki “am sorry saa hizi usiku na tuko mbali na town, please stay”. Nikawa namdanganya pale na I love you za kutosha, wapi, binti kafungua mlango akavaa viatu. “nyie ndo mnaofanya mamiss tuonekane Malaya”, then akasepa.

Sijui hata alifikaje kwao. Mi nlichofanya nilichukua simu nikamtumia promoter ujumbe kuwa kampuni imepata kazi ya ghafla DSM so hatutaweza kuendelea na vipindi. (ewe Miss wa mkoa flani hapa tz ambaye hili lilikutokea, Kiga nakusalimia. Nakupa heshima yako pia, kama utasoma hapa nakuomba radhi).

Norah hata sikumpa mrejesho kuwa theory yake sio sahihi. Siku moja tukiwa tunapiga story, akawa kila muda ananiambia, “I miss you bro”, namm namjibu “I miss you kiddo”, ila ikawa ni mara kwa mara anasema. Mpaka nikasema kwa utani tu, “unataka nije?”, akajibu “oooh, yes. Pls do”. Nikaona kweli yupo serious,. Nikamuuliza siku wanayo ruhusiwa kutoka school akasema jumapili ya kwanza ya kila mwezi wanaweza omba ruhusa for 4 hrs. tukapanga next opportunity niende. Mapenzi bana, yaani natoka Dom to Rock city kwa ajili ya kuonana na dem kwa less than 4 hrs, maana hapo kuna dakika za kutoka na kurudi shule.

Kweli, jumamosi moja nikaenda mwanza. Tulikubaliana muda wa saa nne asbh jumapili anikute kwenye gazi za jengo la posta pale karibu na stendi ya Tanganyika. Ingawa alichelewa bt saa nne na nusu nikamuona kwa mbali anakuja. Aliponiona alishindwa kujizuia, she ran to meet me. We hugged like a minute pale, mi naonaona noma pale, nikamchomoa. Kumuangalia machoni anafuta tears. She was happy to see me. We both were in love. Tatizo likawa moja. Norah alikua amevaa sketi na tishet ya shule yao, na kumbuka hapa ni bongo, tena mwanza nchi ya wasukuma, kila mtu akawa anatukodolea mijicho. Nikatizama kwa mbele karibu na shule ya Pamba nikaona taxi. Tukajisogeza nikamwambia dereva taxi atupeleke Kembice hotel nilikokua nimefikia.

Dereva alipomuangalia Norah, akaniambia “boss, hizi hoteli zinakuaga na informers, ukionekana umeingia na mwanafunzi kuna uwezekano ukaitiwa polisi, miaka 30 unaenda jela mzee”, nikastuka, so unashaurije. “mnunulie nguo nyingine fasta”. Yaani madereva taxi wanakuaga na degree ya elimu ya kitaa. So nikazama maduka ya pale sokoni, nikawa nakimbizana sasa na muda wangu wa less than 4 hours. Sikua na muda wa kuchagua nguo. Nilivoona shati nikanunua, lilikua shati flani design ya aliyokua anapenda kuvaa Nelson Mandela, kimuonekano halikua lakike kabisa. Then nikanunua na suruali ya kike ya jeans. Nilivorudi kwenye gari, dereva kaondoa then akaenda kupark mtaa flani karibu na eleo linaitwa LangoLango (mlango mmoja), then tukashuka kwenye gari kumpa chance Norah abadilishe.

Ofcourse havikumtosha kabisa, ile jeans ilipita hadi kiunoni ila haikufunga kifungo. Uzuri shati lilikua kubwa likawa linamsitiri. Bt kiukweli Hatukujali, Tulivyofika, nilimpa dereva wa taxi ujira wake tena nlimzidishia karibu mara mbili, nikachukua na namba yake ili tukimaliza ampeleka Norah shule. Hii yote nilifanya ile asije yeye ndo akaenda kutuchomea serikalini. Then tukazama zetu room kupiga ile kitu mimi na Norah tunaiitaga “battle of the bastards”.

Yes, hata mimi ni mwanaharamu vilevile (literary). Ingawa namfahamu baba yangu, ila hatujawaahi kaa nae, ile tukaishi kama familia. Mom ni mchaga wa marangu. Yes, palepale karibu na shule moja maarufu ya wasichana. Baba yake (ambaye ni babu yangu) alikua mfanyabiashara (alikua na duka) aliyehamia mkoani Singida wilaya moja inaitwa Iramba. So kwenye mji wa Kiomboi ndiko mama yangu alikulia na kusomea. Sasa pale Kiomboi kuna timu moja ya mpira wa miguu ikiitwa enzi hizo Kurugenzi, my dad alikua anakipiga pale. Mom wakati huo msichana mbichi akampenda mdingi. Ndo kupata mimba ya mapacha. Bahati mbaya mzee alikua tayari ana mke mwingine, ila kwakuwa dini ilikua inamruhusu kuoa mke mwingine akamwambia maza wafanye kama dokta Mwaka, maza kachomoa kisa hawezi uke wenza, hahahaha. Ndo basi tukawa wanaharam rasmi. Babu yangu hakua kama wazazi wa Boss Rona, alimind mwanzo ila akapoa. Alichofanya ni kumpeleka maza kwa dada yake (shangazi wa mama) Arusha, ambako ndiko mimi na my sis tumekulia. Mdingi tulikua tunamtembelea sometimes (mara zote tukiwa kule alikua ananipeleka uwanjani, kuna kiwanja karibu na halmashauri ya wilaya kilikua kimezungushiwa miti flani inaitwa minyaa, basi kukiwa na mechi ya watani wa jadi, Kurugenzi FC na TOT FC ataniweka kwenye viti vya VIP, best memories kwangu. Miss you dad, RIP)

Sasa turudi Kembice hotel mwanza….

Battle of the bastards…….

Norah hakua kama madem wengine ambao ukumfikisha room atajidai kama alikuja kusalimia tu. The moment I closed the door, she attacked me. Akanihug ile kama anataka kunivunja shingo. I missed you zikawa zinapishana tu, from each end. Then came the kisses, she loves kissing. So tulikua tunakiss pale mpaka wakati mwingine anajichomoa anazishika lips zangu (kama mama anavyo zikamata lips za mwanae), then anaziangalia kama sekunde kumi hivi then anazifuata tena.

Wakati huo mimi nishafanya mchakato kwa kumteremsha jeans yake. Ila jeans bana sio kama chupi, kwamba ukiifikisha magotini inatii sheria bila shurti. Jeans ilikua imekwamia juu kidogo ya magoti. But sikuona kesi. Was enjoying touching her butts. Nikaona sasa ni muda wa kumshuhudia vizuri huyu mhabeshi. Nikaishusha na chupi. Ile idea tu kuwa she was naked infront of me nearly made me come. Nikamtoa na shati, na sidiria ilimradi tu nimkamilishe utupu wake. It was a good sight. Nikambeba nikamlaza kitandani. Hapo ndo nikaona kanaanza kuona aibu, maana mi ilibidi niwe nimesimama nikivua pia nguo zangu, sasa sijui aibu ilikua sababu ya dushe yangu iliyo kuwa wima, au ile kuwa uchi mbele yangu. nikaona anajifunika shuka upande wa usoni huku chini akapaacha nipaone.

Nilivyobaki uchi pia, nikamfata kitandani. Nikavivuta vile vilivyokua vimeejikusanya magotini kwake (jeans na pichu) nikavitupia chini. Nikalivuta pia shuka alilokua amelitumia kuficha sura, akabaki as clear as daylight. Tukaangaliana, then akanitaja kwa majina yangu halisi “Kiga bin Koyo” nikaitikia “yes babe”…. “I love you” akaniambia, then kaendelea, “i think of you all the time”. I smiled. Nikajilaza pembeni yake, akanigeukia tukaanza kukiss tena, mguu wangu ukaingia katikati ya miguu yake. As we were kissing, mguu wangu ukawa unasugua kitumbua chake, I just felt the fluids and knew she was ready for me. But not quite yet.

As we lay there naked, cuddling. Nikamhakikishia pia upendo wangu kwake, “I love you too, Norah”. Akanihug tena huku chuchu zake mchongoko zikichoma kifua changu, then akaniuliza, “utanioa”, nikamjibu bila kusita “hata leo yani”. Akaonekana kufurahi sana, “really”, nikamhakikishia kuwa nasema kutoka moyoni. Basi akawa analala chali huku kama ananivuta juu yake, sikuwa na namna ndugu msomaji. Nikaona ni jambo la busara sana kula tunda,. Nikawa katikati yake, nikaanza kupangusa nyapu kwa kichwa cha dushe, kuanzia mlangoni kwake hadi kwenye clitoris. Wakati huo miguu kashaichanua, mkono wangu mmoja unatalii kuanzia pajani mpaka kwenye nyama za pembeni ya tako. My mouth was also busy on her two chuchus.

When I tried to enter, ndo nlipogundua huyu mtoto hajatumika. Kwanza ngoma ilikua haipenyi. Then kila nikijaribu kuipush ndanii naona anakunja sura kuashiria maumivu. Mikono yake ikawa imenishika kiuno changu ikawa nikipush anakua kama ananizuia. Nikajilaumu kwa nini sijawahi muuliza. Maana kuna jamaa yangu ashaniambiaga hizi vitu unatakiwa uwe na mafuta ya Vaseline au hata yale ya babycare pembeni, ukiipaka dushe inatelezamo tu. But ndo hivo tena sikua nayo. Nlivyoona sijamake any progress kwenda ndani, ikabidi nimuulize kama vipi tuahirishe pambano. Alivosikia swali langu akatikisa kicha kuashiria hapana, akatoa na mikono kwenye kiuno changu. Alikua amedhamiria nimbanjue siku hiyo.

Hivyo hivyo taratibu taratibu mpaka nikaanza kugain some grounds in her body. Bt her face was showing much pain. Nikawa nikifanikiwa kupitisha sentimita kadhaa basi nabaki hapo kwa muda nikimove left to right mpaka nione sura kaikunjua then namove tena ndani kidogo. Kuna muda sasa wagiriki nao wakawa wanasumbua wanataka niwagongee visa waingie, nilikua nawazungusha tu airport ila kuna muda wakawa kama wanaandamana kuwa ndani joto linazidi maana wamekua wengi nisipowaruhusu kutoka wanavunjq geti hahaha, uzalendo ukanishinda, na hapo ndo nlipovunja whatever was stopping me from enjoying her. Nilipiga zile tako za kuwaleta wazungu.

She tried to push me, he screamed, she tried to bite my chest but it was too late, her virginity was no more. Wakati tunaanza tulikua mwanzoni mwa kitanda ila tumekujamaliza tupo tumezuiwa na kichwa cha kitanda huku kichwa chake kikinin’ginia kwenye ukingo. Kumcheki Norah alikua vijasho vimejikusanya hadi juu ya lip yake ya juu chini ya pua. Nikawa namuomba radhi pale kwa kumuumiza, hata hajibu kitu.

Nikaenda zangu bafuni kuoga. Then nikarudi nimeloweka kitambaa changu kwenye maji ya vuguvugu nikaanza kumfuta kama namkanda, nikaona anasmile. “lets get married”, akaniambia. “we will kiddo, finish school first”. Akasema, “hiyo unayosema wewe ni harusi, mimi nazungumzia ndoa, mimi na wewe tukishakubaliana tunafunga wakati wowote”. Then akapiga magoti, akanioneshea kwa ishara kuwa nipige magoti mbele yake tukiwa juu ya kitanda, tukawa wote tumepiga magoti tunaangaliana, akauchukua mkono wangu wa kushoto akauzungusha kiuoni mwake, then akaleta mkono wake wa kushoto kwenye mkono wangu tukaunganisha vidole. Then akanyanyua mkono wake wa kulia, tukiwa tunatazamana machoni. Hapo mm hata sikujua anachotaka kufanya nikajikuta nauliza, “what are u doing?”, akajibu, “am marrying you”. Then akaanza kuongea huku mkono wake ukiwa kaunyanyua.

“mimi Norah Mekonnen, bila kulazimishwa na mtu au kitu, nikiwa na akili timamu na nikisukumwa na hisia za mapenzi kwa Kiga, leo tarehe (akaitaja) ninajitoa mwili wangu, maisha yangu na moyo wangu niwe mke wake katika shida na raha, magonjwa na uzima, utajiri na umasikini mpaka siku zangu zitakapokwisha.” Akaendelea, “Kiga bin Koyo, I love you more than I can explain, naomba nikuahidi yafuatayo kama sehemu ya kiapo changu. Kwanza, sitaacha kukupenda, ntakupenda katika hali yoyote ile, moyo wangu unao wewe mpaka mwisho wa uhai wangu. Pili, ntakuheshimu siku zote mpenzi wangu, sitakuabisha na wala sitakubali uaibike. Tatu, wewe ni mwanamume pekee ntakaye fanya nae mapenzi, ntakua mwaminifu kwako daima. You are my first and my last. Eeh mwenyezi Mungu nisaidie”.

Akawa amemaliza. Mm nikawa kama ninashindwa nifanye nini. Nikabaki namuangalia tu. Nikaona kama anaanza kupata huzuni, nahisi alihisi sikua tayari kula kiapo kama alichokula yeye. Sikua na shaka juu ya hisia zangu juu yake, wala sikua na shaka kuwa Norah ndiye msichana ambaye ningependa niwe nae daima. Ila hata sijui kwa nini nikawa Napata kigugumizi. Nikaona Norah anaanza kujichomoa from my fingers. Nikauchukua mkono wake wa kulia, nikaukiss, then tukalock fingers. Nikanyanyua mkono wangu, mzee baba nikala kiapo pia. Kiufupi nilirudia yale aliyoyaapa yeye, ila ilivyofika kwenye vile viapo vyake vitatu vya mwisho, niliyoukua nataja cha tatu nikasikia, “stop”, nkastuka, “why?” nikauliza, akatabasam then akaniambia “Hicho cha tatu ni changu peke yangu, umeshaahidi utanipenda na kuniheshimu inatosha, najua cha uaminifu kwa mwanaume ni ngumu, na sitaki ndoa yetu iwe kama jela, I want you to be happy with me. As long as umeniahidi kunipenda mm tu, hao wengine hawataeza kunireplace, kikubwa heshimu uwepo wangu,”,… alikua yuko serious kabisa. So mazee, nikawa nimefunga ndoa ya moyo that day na mtoto wa Boss Rona.

Tuliongea mengi sana siku hiyo, hasa my future plans. Ingawa sikumgusia, ila hofu yangu ilikua kuhusu mama yake. Ila nikajipa moyo kila kitu kitajipanga chenyewe. Muda ulikua umeenda, ila kila nilivyoukua nataka kuita taxi, anagoma. Mara akaanza kusuggest turudi wote Dom, yaan aachane na shule. Nikambembeleza sana. Nikamwambia hiyo elimu anayoitafuta ni kwa ajili yetu wote na familia yetu. So aache ubinafsi. Tena asome kwa bidii maana familia yangu sihitaji vilaza. Akanielewa. Wakati wa kutoka hotelini, wala hakuangaika kuvaa nguo nyingine, kavaa uniform kamili za shule, noma nikawa naona mimi sasa nlivyokua namtoa.

Mawasiliano yangu na mpenzi wangu Norah yalikua yanaenda poa sana. Infact sometimes she risked and called me hata siku za masomo, just to tell me how much she misses me. Najua nilishasema hapa kuwa nilitokea kumpenda huyu mhabeshi, naomba niseme tena jamani, kidume nilikua nimezama. Ile kuzama mpaka huoni mwingine.

Shida pekee na kikwazo ambacho kila nilipokua nakifikiria kilinipa jakamoyo ni Rona. Tena sio kikwazo tu, Rona alikua ni ukuta kati ya mustakabali wangu wa kimapenzi na Norah. Wataalam wa tiba wanasema mtu unaweza ugua vidonda vya tumbo, ila nauhakika mm nlipata vidonda vya moyo kipindi hicho, maana sio kwa michomo na hisia za kama kisu kinakata moyo kila nlipokumbuka kua mama mkwe wangu mtarajiwa ni Rona, my Boss, my secret lover, my sex partner. Nikawa sioni kabisa namna anaeza kuwa mama mkwe.

Bahati mbaya kadri nlivyozidi kuzama kwa Nora, ndivyo hisia hata zile chache zilizokuepo juu ya Rona zilikua zinayeyuka. Ila hakukubali kuachika kirahisirahisi. Mwanzo alihisi labda kuna kosa amenifanyia, so akawa ananiomba msamaha kwa kosa ambalo hata halijui. Atanipigia simu usiku na kunibembeleza nimsamehe chochote alichonikosea.

Nlikua naumia pia kumuumiza Rona, so nliishia kumwambia tu kuwa kuna mwanamke mwingine nimempenda. Hii ilimchanganya zaidi . Maana ingawa kwake mm ilikua mchepuko, lakini alikua ananiona kama ananimiliki peke yake. Ili kupunguza mazoea nae nikawq namkwepa. Kwa kuwa nilijua amezoea kuja kwangu, ili kumkwepa nilibadilisha ratiba. Nikawa nashinda zaidi kitaa, narudi late night. Hii ilifanya tukakaa wiki kadhaa bila kukutana in private.

Pamoja na kufaham kuwa nina mtu mwingine, akaanza kunibembeleza kuwa ananipenda na hivyo hatojali kuwq na mm ingawa nina mtu mwingine maana hata hivyo, ni vyema kuanza kufikiria kuhusu building a family. In short, Rona alikua anaumia kunipoteza na hakuchoka na wala hakukata tamaa ya kufanya jitihada ya kurudisha mapenzi yangu. Bt mwenzie nlikua nshafunga ukurasa.

Muda wa likizo ya Norah ulikua umekaribia, tukawa tumepanga kuwa amwambie mama yake kuwa shule zinafungwa jumamosi na watasafiri jumapili, ila yeye aje jumamosi afikie kwangu ili tuinjoy the night pamoja (mabaharia msije mkafanya hii kitu ni hatari na nusu). Na kweli, akawa ashamwambia maza ake kama tulivyopanga. Jumamosi, mm nikaenda mpokea stendi, tukachukua taxi hadi home. Uzuri wa ile nyuma, ilikua mwanzo kabisa, magendo yoyote ukiyafanya hakuna anayeweza shuhudia.

Ilikua mida ya saa kumi tumeingia home. I really missed her. Ingawa alikua amepungua mwili kiasi ila she was still very beautiful to my eyes. Alivyoingia sebuleni nikkawa nataka nipeleke mizigo room, bt she stopped me. Nikaitua pale sebuleni, tukawa tunatazamana, and then we hugged. A silent hug. Yaani hakuna aliyekua anasema chochote, bt I think the hearts were communicating. Mikono yake kaizungusha shingoni kwangu, mikono yangu nimeizungusha kiunoni mwake,. She was so relaxed in my arms,… ile kifua chake kilivyokua kinanichoma, nliweza hadi kusikia sauti ya mapigo yake ya moyo. mara tunasikia ngo, ngo, ngo….

Kwa kawaida mahali tulipokua ningekua nimemuona anayegonga wakati anakuja kupitia dirishani, ila lile kumbatio lilikua limefanya machoyangu yawe yamejifunga nikisikilizia ile raha. So sikua najua aliyegonga. Norah yy nlimuona katoa mijicho, kuonesha kapanik, maana hakutaka yeyote ajue yuko pale. Alikua kashajibandua from my arms, amenikumbatia mkono mmoja as if anahitaji protection, huku ananiangalia machoni, as if kuuliza “who is it”… expression yangu pia ilikua inatoa jibu, “I have no idea”.

Ingawa sikua na uhakika ila hisia zilinituma kuwa ni Rona. And this made my heart go even faster. Badala ya kugonga tukasikia ufunguo unaingizwa kwenye kitasa kwa nje. Hii ilifanya nicomfirm kuwa ni Rona. Ndo pekee mwenye funguo za hapa. Nikamwambia Nora akimbie room.

Bahati nzuri nlikua nimefunga mlango na vile vitasa flani vya kusogeza, nyumba nyingi za zamani utakuta vimewekwq juu na chini ya kitasa cha ufunguo (na mafundi wengi walikuaga wanapishanisha kitasa na kile kishimo cha kuchomeka na hivyo kufanya iwengumu kukifunga mpaka unyanyue kidogo mlango hahahah). Sasa nlikua nimekifunga cha juu. Rona alivoona mlango haufunguki kaanza kuita bana, Kigaa, kigaa, please fungua tuongee….

Nikawa sasa najiuliza maswali mwenyewe, ujio huu ni kuwa ameniona naingia na mwanae au ni muendelezo wa kunibembeleza turudiane. Ila alivyoita nikajua hajaniona, maana sauti aliyotoa sio ya mama aliyeshuhudia mwanae anaenda kutiwa…. Issue pekee iliyobaki ikawa ni nafanyaje sasa.. maana Rona anajua nimo ndani, nikiendelea kuuchuna ataanza kuropoka siri zetu hapo nje akijua namsikia, hii itafanya Norah ajue kila kitu.

Nikafungua.

Ila sikumruhusu aingie. Mm ndo nlitoka. “Rona please, I know u respect me, naomba tuongee kesho. Nina mgeni ndani”, nikamplease… Rona akawa kama machozi yanamlengalenga, then akasema “ok kesho will talk, msalimie wifi”… akawa amenijibu then akasepa. Nikashusha pumzi ndefu nisiamini kilichotaka kutokea. I am playing a very dangerous game nikajikuta nawaza.

Kumbe Nora alisikia ile sauti. Ile nimeingia room nimeweka mizigo yake fresh akaniuliza, “mama yangu alikua anataka nini?”, her voice haikua tena na ule mshtuko wa mwanzo. Nilivyoisikia nikajua it was just an innocent question. Nikamwambia tu ni issue ya ripoti za ofisini, nlimuahidi ningezikamilisha ijumaa ila hajaziona, hapo alikua anaingia azitafute mwenyewe, tunabahati nlifunga mlango. Kakaamini, hakakua na sababu ya kutilia shaka maelezo yangu hata hivyo.

Nikamsogelea alipokua amekaa kitandani, nikasimama katikati ya miguu yake. Nikamshika kichwa, nikakibinua ili kinitazame. Nikaanza kumla denda. Mpaka leo hua nashindwa kujudge who had softer lips, mama au mwana. They were both soft, ila mwana alikua na ladha flani iliyonipa mzuka. As we continued kissing, nikaanza kutalii kifuani,… mara ghafla akaacha kunikiss, “what if mama akija tena?”, akaniuliza.. nikaona ile kitu bado inakasumbua akili. Nikamhakikishia, we are safe. Mlango nimefunga vizuri na nimemuahidi nitaifanya kazi leo so haezi rudi. Akawq ametulia tu ananiangalia. Nikamwambia, “kaoge kiddo, you must be very tired”.

That day nlikua nimemuandalia chips na kuku, so baada ya kua ameoga akanijoin jikoni ambako nlikua natengeneza kachumbari. Nlisikia mtu anacheka nyuma yangu, nikamuuliza anacheka nn bila hata kugeuka kumcheki, “si unavyohangaika na hiyo kachumbari, hivyo vitunguu unatakiwa uvitie chumvi kwanza vilainike,….. let me do that, go and relax”, alinambia huku akinawa mikono kwa sinki ili ashike usukani, ndo nlipomuona vizuri.

Alikua kavaa one of my shirts, ingawa ilikua ndefu kwake, ila iliishia tu chini kidogo ya tako. Ndani sikujua kirahisi kavaa nini, bt ingawa alikua amepungua mwili, niliconclude kuwa alipungua tu kuanzia kiunoni kwenda juu, huku chini ppalikua pamenona zaidi. Nadhani aligundua namkodolea mijicho, maana alifungua vifungo vya chini then kazikutanisha ncha za chini ya shati kazifunga pamoja kiunoni, akanipa fursa kuona alichovaa ndani. Ilikua chupi nyeupe ya mikanda pembeni (sio bikini), iliyomfanya shape yake ionekane vyema masna pichu ilimtaiti ipasavyo. Miguu akaiachanisha ile inaitwa mguu sawa, na kufanya kuwe na uwazi kati ya mapaja yake, then kasema, “am urs bro, do whatever you want “…. Yaani utundu kama mama yake dah.

Nlichofanya ni kunawa mikono, nikaikausha then nikaipeleka kwenye hips zake. She came towards me, hugged me, kissed me, ile kislow moshen hahaha. Nikampandisha mezani, miguu kaizungusha kwenye miguu yangu, tukqendelea kukiss hapo huku kananifungua suruali. Kalivyomfikia mzee kaka mshika bila woga, nikaona kanatabasam,. Nikamtoa shati aliyokua amevaa, nikavua pia kila kitu sasa. Sikutaka kumvua chupi. Niliisogeza pembeni kidogo nikamgusisha dushe.

Nikaona mwenyewe anaisshika kuiweka fresh, nikaingia. Alishtuka kidogo, ila hakua anaonesha kuumia. Nikaanza ndombolo ya solo pale. It was the first time yeye kusikia utam, and I saw the surprise in her face. And I liked the fact kuwa anaskia utam,. Nikambeba wakati bado nimo ndani, nikamshika matakoni huku miguu yake ikiwa imerest kwenye viwiko vya mikono yangu, mikono yake kanishika vizuri shingoni then nikaanza kumpepeta kama mchele, hapa sasa ndo kidogo anitukane. Alinena kwa lugha hahaha. Na the fact kuwa mi ni mtu wa mazoezi so stamina nnayo ya kutosha lakini pia mwenyewe alikua potable so nlimpepeta haswaaa huku naminyaminya tako zake kama naandaa unga wa chapati. Ilikua namrusha wa speed huku mm niko still, then napunguza speed ya kumrusha mm ndo naanza kumove, yaani nakua kama nimemtenga hewani then namshughurikia, she really liked it. Nikichoka natulia then yeye ndo nampepeta, then wakati mwingine namzungusha kama duara na mm nikimove in out. I saw her coming, ingawa sio ile ya kurusha maji ambayo hata mimi nasubiri mzee JasonBourne59 atupatie darasa.

Nikaona hii mechi tuihamishie room. Kule room nnakuaga na sofa la kukaa mtu mmoja ambalo always nalitumia kuwekea nguo chafu (vyumba vya kiume) nlivyomfikisha, nikamuweka kwenye mkono wa sofa, mgongo ukkaegemea sofa, miguu yake nikaikusanya pamoja kwenye bega langu la kulia kwa kuipishanisha, then nikamuanzia taratibu taratibu, akawa anatoa zile sauti za mtu anayesikia baridi, then nikaanza kuongeza speed….. yaani kama kule kwenye kupepetwa alinena kwa lugha, hii ilimfanya achanganyikiwe. Na mimi wala sikuchukua round, ile speed ya kumaliza na yeye naona anazidi kuchanganyikiwa mpaka ile wazungu wanataka kuja nikaona mtu kama kazima, yaani kajitupa kwenye hicho kisofa, mm nko nae tu yaani nlimaliza katika position ya ajabu sana,… then she huggedd me again huku anatetemeka. Tukakaa hivyo for minutes. Then nikamnyanyua nikampeleka kitandani, nikamfunika na shuka mi nikaenda kuandaa kachumbali.

Sehemu Ya 5

Kama ambavyo nlishawahi kusema, Nora ni aina ya wasichana ambao nliinjoy sana kampani yao. Hachoshi kuwa nae, haikua sex tu, na kimsingi ile jumamosi hatukutiana tena, ila it was fun to be around her.

Tuliongea mengi, tulisikiliza mziki, tulicheza mziki, (ukiwa in love wazee, unainjoi sana love songs, yaani zile lyrics zinapenya kama zilivyo. Love is a beautiful thing mazee. If you have been in love you will understand what I mean). Nakumbuka kuna a song inaitwa ‘dance again’ ya J’lo, basi aliupenda kishenzi, akawa ikifika yale mashairi yake

……… baby your fire is lighting me up, the way that you move boy is reason enough, that I love to make love to you baby. I cant behave oh I want you so much, your lips taste like heaven so why should I stop? Yeah, I love to make love to you babe………….

Basi ataninyanyua pale nlipokaa, ananisogelea ile zero distance, anaanza kukata kiuno slowly, yaani ile kiuno chake tu ndo kinamove, then anakua ananitazama huku anaimba. Ikifika muda wa Pitbull anarap nakua nahisi kama natakiwa nitambae nae ila ndo siwezi hahhaha, basi atanipa denda pale mpaka Jlo aanze tena kuimba. Nikawa najisemea, kama waliooa wanainjoi hivi, mbona ndoa zinavunjika dah……

Sometimes tulikaa tu kimya tumekumbatiana kila mtu anawaza vyake. Sijui yeye alikua anawaza nini, but mawazo yangu yalikua yamejikita kwenye namna ntakavyo mshawishi boss Rona anikubali kama mkwewe. Mbinu ambayo akili yangu ilikua inanishauri ni kwanza kumuweka wazi Nora, yani nimwambie dogo sikia, mimi na mama yako tushawahi kulana, ila zamani sana hahahahah. Dah, ila moyo ndo ulikua unagoma. Sikujua kwa hakika Nora atakavyoipokea. Ila kiukweli ni bora nimwambie mimi kuliko kuja kugundua kwa namna nyingine. Shida ilikua namwambiaje sasa..

I remember siku hiyo wote tulipitiwa usingizi kwenye kochi. Usiku sana nlivyostuka ndo nikamhamishia room. Nora amekuja kuamka saa nne asubuhi, wakati huo nlikua nishaandaa mayai, mikate na kahawa (kitu kingine nilichokua namshukuru Mungu ni kuwa both of us were coffee people, she loved coffee, so did I. I kissed her goodmorning and asked her to have breakfast. She said she has to clean up first. Nikajua tu asubuhi hii anataka akakate gogo kabisa. Ila ndo nikashangaa maana kabla hatujawa wapenzi alikua ananambia bt now anajitahidi kufichaficha hahaha.

Nikamuona akiwa ana came out of the bathroom amejifunga kanga pichu mkononi, mm niko nimekaa mezani namsubiri tupate chochote. Bt muonekano wake ukafanya nitamani kumla yeye kabla ya mayai. Nikawa namfuata, kama alijua vile nnachomfuatia, akawa ananikimbia, tukawa tunafukuzana mle sebuleni, anazunguka kochi, nikimfuata kulia anaenda kushoto, hadi kanga aliyovaa ikamtoka akawa kama alivyozaliwa, anacheka tu. Baadae kaamua eti akimbilie room, mm huyo namkimbiza. Kuingia room namkuta kasimama hakimbii tena, anatabasam tu. Nikawa namsogelea, akaniambia, “ vua nguo pia”…. Nikatii. Hapo tupo umbali kama mita mbili hivi from each other.

Tukawa sasa wote naked tunaangaliana tu. Kila mtu anamuappreciate mwenzie. Ile kukimbizana kiliipooza kidogo rombo, bt ile situation ya kuangaliana tukiwa naked ikafanya mnara utoke 3G mpaka 5G. She saw the transformation and she smiled. Sijui hata nani alimfuata mwenzie, ila tulijikuta in each other’s arms. And the sex was so much, so much sweet, Norah was something else jamani dah. naomba nisiende into details sana.

Nikaleta our breakfast kitandani tukawa tunakula with stories. Akawa analalamika kukosa kanisani. Anasema huwa haachi kwenda church hata iweje, so kukosa siku ile kukawa kunamdisturb akili. Nikamwambia, next Sunday tutaenda wote asijali. Akafurahi kinoma. Mida ya saa sita unusu hivi, stori zikiwa zimepamba moto tukasikia tena … ngo, ngo, ngo………….

Akili yangu ikajua atakua Boss Rona. Nadhani na Nora aliwaza the same maana alisema, “itakua mama”… nikamwambia, “yeah, itakua amefuata documents zake nilimuahidi jana bt sijafanya chochote”, “so tunafanyaje?” akauliza, bt hakua na wasiwasi sana kama jana. “relax, just stay inside usitoke kabisa wala kufanya chochote kitakachotoa sauti maana anaweza taka tuanze ifanyia kazi hiyo document sasa hivi na itachukua muda”.. akakubaliana na mm. kipindi hicho nlikua natumia simu Nokia moja inaitwa XpressMusic, ilikua na miziki kibao nikampa ili asiwe bored, ila lengo kubwa lilikua asisikie maongezi yetu.

I went and opened for Boss. This time sikuweza mzuia asiingie ndani. She went straight kwenye kochi. Hakua anasema kitu mpaka muda huo. Ila najua alivoniangalia alijua sikupendezwa na ugeni wake. “where is your girlfriend?” ndo ilikua swali lake la kwanza. Nikamjibu short tu, yupo ndani. Mpaka mda huo nlikua nimesimama tu, nlitaka ajue she is not welcome. “skiliza Kiga, mimi na wewe ni watu wazima hakuna mtoto kati yetu. Jana nimekesha nawaza about us. Ni kweli you need to have a girl of your own, sipaswi kuwa na roho mbaya ya kukuzuia. Bt naomba nikuulize swali, do you love her?” alivyouliza hili swali, sijui hata kwanini Bt out of nowhere nikajikuta nasmile, it was involuntary, ila nikarecover na kumjibu, “I love her so much boss, please understand why I cant continue with you”. Nilijibu hivi maana nilijua namjibu mama mkwe mtarajiwa, nilitaka siku akijua girlfriend wangu ni mwanae bas ajue pia kiasi gani nampenda binti ake kiasi cha kumtosa yeye.

“I understand. You see, just like me it seems you finally found the love of your life. You know me Kiga. And I’m sure you know how much I love you. Jinsi unavyojisikia kwa huyo mpenzi wako, ndo na mimi najisikia kwako. Just imagine how I feel right now. Mtu unaempenda kiasi hicho anakwambia hakutaki tena, imagine that Kiga”, nikawa namuona macho yanajaa chozi, bt sio zile za kutiririka…. Sikuwa na jibu ndugu msomaji.

Dah. Kati ya vitu vigumu nishawahi kufanya, basi kuandika haya ninayoandika ni mojawapo. Kati ya siku ambazo natamani zijirudie ili nibadilishe yaliyotokea basi ni siku hii. Kati ya makosa makubwa ambayo nishawahi kufanya na yakanikosti ni kosa ambalo nilifanya mchana wa jumapili hii. Natamani niiruke nisiandike chochote, bt naona labda nikiandika ile guilty ninayojisikia mpaka leo itaisha. I fucked up, and I fucked up big time. Sio kwamba nlikua sijui kuwa ntakachofanya kitamaanisha mimi na Norah ndo basi, nilijua sana ktk akili yangu, ila basi tu nikajikuta natenda kosa kubwa. Sitaki hata kumsingizia shetani, maana nilijua kabisa kila kitu, katika vitu kama mwanaume hutakiwi kufanya mazee, basi nlijikuta nimekitenda kimojawapo siku hii.

Kabla ya jumapili hii, boss Rona alikua ni kama X tu, yaani mpaka siku hii sikuwahi kuwachanganya mama na mwana, and I wanted to maintain that status quo. Ntahadithia dhambi nliyoifanya ila sitasema namna nlivyoifanya.

Nakumbuka, nlikua nmesimama boss alikua amekaa kwenye kochi. Then alisimama, akanifuata nilipo. Kinachoniumiza Zaidi ni kuwa uwezo wa kumzuia nlikua nao, ila sikuutumia ndugu msomaji. Nakumbuka akiwa amesimama close to me alinambia, “Give me this one time, and I will teach myself to un-love you”, sasa sijui ni ahadi yake kuwa after today hatanisumbua tena, au ni subconscious memories of her sweet cunt zilizonifanya nimuache afanye atakacho.

Aliniongoza hadi chumba cha pili ambacho kilikua upande wa pili wa sebule (yani hii nyumba ilikua ukitoka chumbani kwangu kuna korido then kabla hujaingia sebuleni unakutana na mlango wa kuingia jikoni, then after sebule upande wa pili kuna korido nyingine ambayo kuna chumba cha pili pamoja na bafu. So milango ya kuningia vymbani ilikua on the extreme sides of the house). Ile idea ya kumla mara ya mwisho boss Rona ilinijaa akilini kiasi kwamba mzuka ukaanza kunipanda. She undressed me, nikajikuta tu mikono imeenda takoni……………………. I was sooooooo stupid. Kama nlivosema mwanzo, mwanaume kunamiiko hutakiwi kuivunja, 1. Kumtia ndugu wa mtu unaempenda (kuna watu watasema mbona ulimla pendo na mdogo wake hahahahaha, sikua nimependa yeyote kati yao). 2. Kumtia rafiki wa mtu unaempenda (labda kwa ruhusa ya mke wako kama ilivotokeaga kwangu hahahah hii ni stori nyingine maybe ntaiweka one day) 3. Usichepuke na mtu wa mtaani kwako (ikibidi kuwa na mchepuko, tafuta wa mbali sana huko, yaani kama unaishi mbezi, nenda kaharibu salasala). So kumla boss Rona that day ilikuwa kuvunja mwiko mkubwa sana. Na the fact kuwa her daughter was on another room ilikua ni beyond ufisadi, ndo maana mpaka hua nasema nastahili consequences zilizonipata baada ya hii dhambi……….

Kama kawa wazee. Majuto huja baada ya goli kuchomoka. I felt so bad baada ya wagiriki kutoka. Mawazo yote kwa mpenzi wangu Nora. BossRona akawa ananifuta pale tena kwa mdomo wake, dah, sikua hata naelewa kinachoendelea. Nikavaa chapu, boss Rona kuna kitu alikua ananiambia bt hata sikuwa namsikiliza…. Nikafungua mlango nikaenda kwa the love of my life, the only girl I ever loved. Ile nimeingia room namkuta Norah kajilaza anasikiliza mziki huku macho ameyafunga. I just stopped there, looking at her. Alikua anasililiza mziki kwa sauti kubwa sana, kiasi kwamba sidhani kama alinisikia nikiingia. Niliweza kuusikia mziki aliokua anausikiliza, mashairi niliyasikia live ingawa kwa sauti ya mbali ……

……. Just think of all the moments that we’d spend, I just can’t let you go, for me you were meant, and I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I know that in the game of love you reap what you sow……..

Sijui ilikua ni sababu ya sauti nzuri ya Rose Royce ktk huu wimbo wa Wishing on a Star au ni mashairi ya huu wimbowake, au ni ile sura ya upole ya Norah nliyokua naitizama, au ni hisia tu za makosa niliyomtendea Norah ndo yalifanya nianze kulia. Sio ile ya kulia vimachozi vinatiririka huku ukiwa umesimama, hapana. I started sobbing ndugu msomaji. Yaani nilichuchumaa pale pembeni ya mlango nikaanza kulia. I felt guilty, stupid, Malaya vyote kwa pamoja. Nlistuka Norah amepiga magoti mbele yangu ananibembeleza, maskini hakua anajua kinachoniliza. She just hugged me huku ananiambia “its ok my love, Im here”, katika maneno anayo tamka wakati ananibembeleza nikatambua anahisi labda nimeandaa report vibaya mama yake kanizingua. Basi akanikokota hadi kwa bed. Akanilaza halaf akalala pembeni yangu amenihug. Kule kulia kukawa kumekoma bt machozi bado yakawa yanatoka kiasi. Yaani Nora, si akaanza kunichezea dushe huku anazidi nipa maneno ya kunituliza, alivoona imesimama, akaipandia. Yani mm hata sikua natoa ushirikiano. Ni kama akili haikua pale isipokua dushe peke yake.

Kama alidhani sex itanifanya nijisikie vizuri alikosea sana. Ilinifanya tu machozi yastop, ila moyo wangu ulikua bado unalia. Yani uzito wa tukio lililotokea siku hiyo mpaka leo siwezi libeba bila kupata maumivu ya moyo. So ingawa najua sio Nora wala Rona watakaosoma hapa, natumia fursa hii kuomba radhi kwa nafsi zao. I am really sorry.

“The downfall”

Norah wala hakutaka nimwambie chochote abt why I was crying. Believe me, nilitamani sana nimwambie ili walau nipate tulizo la moyo, ila kila nlipojaribu kuanza alinisitisha akisema she doesn’t care, her job is to make her man happy and that’s what she will do. Nakumbuka alisema, “hata kama umeua mtu bro, I’ll go to jail with you”. Basi mi nikatoka kwenda kumtimua boss Rona. Room hakuepo, so nikajua alisepa saa nyingi. Badae Norah akaanza kujiandaa maana alikua amemwambia mama yake kuwa wataingia stendi saa kumi, na hapo ilikua saa tisa kasoro kadhaa.

Idea ilikua kabla ya hiyo saa kumi aende home. Yaani kabla mama yake hajaamua kutoka kwenda kumfuata stendi. Then akifika amwambie waliwahi kutoka Mwanza so wamewahi kufika pia, akachukua taxi hadi mbele ya quaters. So alipiga uniform zake fresh. Alivyokua ready akanihug for sometime, she kissed me quickly, then akaniambia kesho yake atajitahidi kuja tena so nikitoka job niwahi kurudi. Niliplan kumsindikiza hadi mbele ya home kwangu, ila sio kabla ya mimi kuangalia mazingira ya usalama, hatukutaka jirani ahisi katokea pale kwangu.

I opened the door. Akawa ametoka ili mimi nitoke na begi then nifunge mlango. So akawa amenitangulia mpaka mbele ya kibaraza changu. Then nilisikia tu, “oh My Gooooood”, nikaacha kufunga mlango kwenda kucheki. Sikuamini nlichokiona maze, Uso kwa uso na Boss Rona.

Niliona hisia zote anazoweza hisi binadamu kwenye uso wa Boss Rona that day, hasa alipoona begi la mwanae pale kwa kibaraza….. sura ilianza na mshangao, then aibu, ikafuatiwa na ufahamu wa kinachoendelea, then huzuni na ikamalizia hasira…….. vyote hivyo in a matter of seconds. Then kabla yeyote hajasema chochote, boss Rona akaanguka chini kapoteza fahamu….

Then I saw something that made me realize that a bond between a mother and daughter is unbreakable. Norah aliruka kumfuata mama yake, akakaa chini halafu kamuegemeza mama yake kwenye mapaja yake. Her face was full of guilt. Yaani alivyonitazama, nikaona namna anavyoumia moyoni. Katika kipindi hicho kifupi sura yake ishabadilika kuwa nyekundu, kamasi zinamtoka, machozi yashalowanisha uso mzima, Analia huku ananitazama as if ananiambia, “look at what we’ve done”.

Akili ikanijia fasta kumpeleka hosp. nikawa nakimbia kuelekea kwake kuchukua Suzuki yake. Kumbe alikua amekuja nayo, ameipaki karibu kabisa na kwangu. Nikarudi, tukambeba, ingawa wakati huo alikua ashazinduka sema hana nguvu, machozi tu yanambubujika. Norah anamwambia tu, “I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry ……” maskini hakujua kilichomzimisha mama yake sio hata alichokiwaza.

Tulivyomfikisha hosp, akawa kapewa kitanda apumzike huku kawekewa dripu. Nikawa namshauri Norah arudi home ili nibaki na Rona tuone tunajipanga vipi na hili janga. Nora kaniambia hamuachi mama yake. She owes her an apology. Akashauri tuwapigie simu mume wa boss na pale home, nikamkataza. Nikamwambia ni mshituko tu, she will be ok, tusiwashtue watu. She reached for my hand, then akanambia, “no matter what happens, we will be together again. This might be the last time we see each other this holiday, maana najua hasira za mama atanikataza kabisa kutoka, bt please lets keep our promises and vows”, hata sikumjibu alichosema, nilijikuta nashindwa kusema chochote.

Nakumbuka, wala boss Rona hakulazwa usiku pale. Daktari alishauri turudi nae home. So mida ya saa moja hivi tukawa tumetoka hosp. kufika kwenye gari, boss akaomba ufunguo, nikampa then nikapanda siti za nyuma. Rona alivoingia kwenye gari akasema “get out of my car”…. Nikawa kama sielewi hivi, ndo akanigeukia kabisa na kushout, “get the fuuuuuuuuck out”,. Norah akataka kunitetea pale, “mom please, lets explain”, “shut up”……. Nikaona niepushe shari, nikashuka, Nora akawa ananivuta nibaki, nikamwambia, ntachukua taxi, go with mom, she needs you more. Nikaona kanaanza kulia, mi nikatoka. Hao wakasepa……..

Nimefika home siku hiyo, sikulikuta begi la Nora pale out, nikajua walilibeba. So nikajua walau waliongea, ingawa nilihofu aina ya mazungumzo yao, ila nilijua lazima yalikua dominated na Nora kumuomba msamaha mama yake. One thing I was sure, Rona hataweza mwambia mwanae kuwa alikua anatoka na mimi. Nilikua na uhakika huo kwa sababu kwanza Rona ameolewa, na anapaswa kulinda heshima yake mbele ya mwanae. Pili, asingeweza kumbebesha aibu anayojisikia sasa mwanae pia, yani mwanae pia ajue ameshare mwanaume na mama yake, she would protect her daughter from that shame, that I was sure of. Ila nilijua mimi na Nora ndo basi tena. Her mom will never allow me kumuoa. Hata ingekua wewe ndugu msomaji, hii ni kitu usingeruhusu.

Kesho yake job nikakuta tu stori, boss Rona anaumwa so amepewa ED ya siku tano. Mimi nlichoamua kufanya that day ni kuresign. So nikaandika barua ya kuacha kazi ndani ya muda wa saa 24. Ki utaratibu unatakiwa ulipe mshahara wa mwezi mmoja ukiwa unaacha kazi so I made arrangements mshahara wa mwezi huo wasinipe. Watu walishangaa sana why nachukua uamuzi wa harakaharaka namna hiyo. Nikawahakikishia, naenda sehem nzuri Zaidi so waniombee tu, wakati hata sijui what I will do from here on…. Aliyesikitika Zaidi that day ni Lyamuya, kidogo alie. Akanihug pale na kunitakia all the best. Nikamuahidi I will always be in touch. Nikamwambia pia namuachia everything kwenye ile nyumba, avifanye anavyotaka isipokua vitabu tu ambavyo ntavifuata oneday.

Sikutaka hata kurudi kule home. Nliazimia kuanza upya kabisa na kusahau whatever happened in this beautiful Capital of our beloved Nation……

…..Winter is Coming….

So kiufupi I travelled to Dsm that same day. Nakumbuka kwenye basi nilikaa kwenye siti na dada mmoja hivi ambaye alikua anapenda penda kama tuongee hivi, bt I was not in the mood. Itakua ndo wale wanaoliwaga kimasihara na masela kwenye uzi wa rikiboy. Nimefika DSM night. I took a room kwa hotel nikajitupia kitandani.

Asubuhhi naamka ndo nasikia njaa, nikakumbuka mara ya mwisho kula ni juzi yale mayai na kahawa. Nikaamua kutoka ile hotel na kwenda kutafuta msosi. Mpaka leo hua napita maeneo ya bar ya pale riverside na kuwaunga hata kwa bia mbili kwa kumbukumbu ya siku ile. Nakumbuka nilikaa sana pale, yaani kuanzia breakfast hadi dinner. But niliutumia muda wangu vizuri. I planned my life that day.

Kwanza nilijua natakiwa kusahau kuhusu mapenzi. I had a shot at love and I blew it. So nikaamua that day kuwa, nikifika miaka 30, ntazaa na mwanamke yeyote tu. Then baadae ntaongeza wengine kadri life litakavyoruhusu. Pili nikaamua pesa kidogo nliyokua nayo ntafungua ofisi ya issue za kuburn CD (enzi hizo it was a big deal), kuflash simu, kucharge simu pamoja na kuuza some accessories za simu. Na mwisho niliamua kuwa na kampuni sasa ile niliyokua naiplan siku zote.

That day nililala hotel pia. Ila kesho yake nikaingia mitaa ya Kimara kusaka geto. Dar bana, hela yako tu, huchelewi kupata unachotaka. Ingawa sikupata aina ya makazi ninayotaka sehemu ambayo ni karibu na barabara, ila nilifanikiwa kupata chumba na sebule eneo fulani katikati ya Baruti na Msewe. It was a good compound, full usalama na eneo la kutosha. Same day nikanunua kitanda kidogo futi 3.5 pamoja na godoro. Mpaka namaliza hiyo michakato yote jioni ishafika. Zamani kulikua na bar moja maarufu pale kimara baruti, nikaenda kupata msosi na kuangalia live band huku natafakari how my life will be. Ila kila nikimkumbuka Nora Napata maumivu ya moyo. Love hurts aisee.

So that’s how I settled in Dar. Ofisi yangu ilikua mitaa ya kimara Korogwe pale, ule mtaa juu ya tuta la barabara karibu na bar flani walikua wanauza kitimoto moja matata (ustaadh JBourne59 utanisamehe hahaha). Wiki ya kwanza ilikua ya watu kuja kushangaa shangaa tu pale hasa wadada. Utasikia “kaka una wimbo wa Suma lee” ukisema upo utasikia “wa Pasha je, ule unaitwa ni soo?” ukimwambia upo pia basi anakwambia ntakuja kuburn cd kesho, ziandae kabisa. kesho hata humuoni, akija basi itakua ni kwa issue nyingine kabisa. Bt the next week nikaanza kupata walau hela ya kula. I burned VCDs na MP3s za kutosha. All this time, wala sikutaka kujua whats happening in Dom. Kusema ukweli matamanio yangu ilikua Nora anisahau kabisa, na amove on. Ingawa nilimpenda bt our relationship has become too much complicated to take it further. She is young and beautiful, she will find someone else.

Then Sunday nikatafuta kanisa nikaenda kusali after a long long time. Nakumbuka ilikua ni parokia ya pale Msewe. Mahubiri ya siku hiyo ni kama yalikua yananigusa live. Nikaelewa kwa nini walokole hua wanalia kanisani. Kiufupi yule padre siku hiyo alianza kama kutusema watu tunaoishi kwenye dhambi na kuona kama kawaida, yani uko na girlfriend mnaishi kama mke na mume then mnaona ni sawa tu. Ila akamaliza kutukumbusha kuwa Mungu wetu husamehe. Hii ikanipa walau ahueni kuwa nikiamua kumpigia magoti Mungu nikamuomba msamaha basi atanisamehe. After church, nikarudi home nikiwa na mpango nicheki movie the whole day…

Mida ya saa tisa hivi nikasikia simu inaita…. Kupokea nikajua instantly who was on the other side of the phone. Ile sauti hata angeongea taratibu kwa sauti ya chini bado siwezi isahau. Ni sauti ambayo imeniimbia mara nyingi, imenibembeleza nilipolia, imenichekesha, imenitania, imeniambia nakupenda mara kibao.. it was Norah. Alivyosema hallo, nikajikuta Napata furaha. Ingawa nilishachukua maamuzi ya kumpotezea bt sjui why nilifurahi kusikia sauti yake. Nilikaa sekunde kadhaa bila kusema chochote. Hadi aliporudia tena “hello”, ndo nikakusanya nguvu kumjibu, “hello kiddo”. She giggled (ile kucheka kindanindani kama unaguna). Nikaendelea, “are you ok”, akanijibu everything is fine. ‘simu ya nani?’ akajibu ya housegirl wao. Akaniambia mama yake bado inaonekana anahasira naye ila walau anaitikia salam yake. Ndo kunipa updates ya kilichoendelea. Akasema boss Rona alijifungia chumbani kwake kwa siku mbili, hali chochote. Nora akasema alijihisi mkosaji sana kwa mamayake na kuona amemdisappoint sana.

Akaendelea kuniambia siku ya tatu ilibidi ashinde mlangoni kwa mama yake akilia pia. Akasema alikaa mlangoni kuanzia saa moja asubuhi mpaka saa tano Analia tu na kuomba msamaha. Baadae alivyoona mama yake hafungui ndo ikabidi amwambie mama yake kuwa hawezikuona anakua sababu ya mama yake kupoteza maisha kwa njaa, so anaona bora atangulie yeye… akawa anamuaga pale kwa kumwambia she is the best mom in the world, and she loves her more than anything or anyone in the world, anampenda kiasi kwamba anayatoa maisha yake ili yeye mama yake aendelee kuishi. Akiwa anaondoka pale mlangoni ndo anasikia mlango unafunguliwa, kugeuka anamuona her mom amenyong’onyea macho makavu, ikabidi amfuate wakakumbatiana huku wote wanalia..

Nora akaendelea kuniambia kuwa anachoshangaa ni kuwa kila akimuomba mama yake amsamehe, anamwambia kosa sio lake, ni la huyo bazazi. Ndo akaniuliza, “Kiga au kuna kitu ulimuudhi mom Zaidi ya hiki?”, nikawa najiumauma pale, natamani nimwambie ukweli bt nikajikuta tu ‘hapana’ imenitoka automatically. Then akaendelea kunipa updates kuwa after she made sure her mom is ok, she came to my house, na inaonekana kama sipo muda mrefu. Ndo na mimi nikamhadithia what has happened so far. Sikumficha kitu, “so now you have your own office” aliuliza huku kama anacheka. “yeah its small bt I plan to grow it big”, nikawa namjibu pale. Akauliza hadi ilipo nikamtajia. Bt nikakumbuka kuwa mimi na yeye hatuna future kabisa, kutokana na hii situation ilivyo… so nikamwambia, “Kiddo, I know you love me, believe me, I love you too. Ila mama yako hawezi kubali mahusiano yetu so its better you move on”…. Nakumbuka Norah alikua kimya tu, alipoongea tena nikagundua alikua Analia “you are giving up on me bro …. (sob)……. please, don’t do this…….. my life will be miserable without you…… I love you so much…….. please don’t leave”, sikueza endelea kusikia mpenzi wangu akilia, nikakata simu.

She didn’t call again… although lazima nikiri mara nyingi nilitamani kupiga ile namba ili niongee nae tena. Bt siku zikapita. Wiki moja ikawa mbili, hadi zikafifa tatu. Nikawa najua Norah atakua ameelewa somo. Biashara yangu ikawa I naenda fresh tu, yani sikosi hela ya kula wala kuishi. Muda wote huo sijawaambia mama yangu na dada yangu kuwa nimepiga chini kazi na nipo dsm. Nakumbuka siku moja sis alinipigia akaniambia kampuni inapitia wakati mgumu, kuna maamuzi waliyachukua yanawakost na itachukua months kurudi katika hali ya kawaida, nikapata sababu ya kutowaambia abt me maana watazidi kupanick.

One Friday nakumbuka nipo naburn CDs za watu, tena wale wateja ambao wanataka muda huo huo waondoke nayo. Nikahisi kama kuna mteja amesimama muda mrefu bila kuagiza chochote, muda huo nlikua bize namuongelesha mteja wangu aliyekua amekaa kwa pembeni. Then nikaangalia upande wan je, ndo kumuona sasa,… Norah Mekonnen mwenyewe. Nikajikuta nimesimama ghafla nikamkimbilia. I hugged her so tightly. “what are you doing here?”, wala hata hajibu kitu… “umefikajefikaje hapa?” nikamuuliza huku najichomoa mwilini mwake… alikua amevaa kitu walikua wanaita ‘pedo pusha’ nyeupe na ki t-shirt cha pink. Zilimkaa vyema.

Kwakuwa hakuwa anajibu kitu, nikampa kiti akakaa pale kwa nje, mi nikaingia ndani kumalizana na mteja. Nlivomaliza nikafunga kabisa ofisi, tukasogea pale kwenye bar ndo kuanza kupiga stori. Maswali yangu yakutaka kujua amefikaje pale akayapotezea, alichonambia cha kwanza ni kuwa, anataka kusikia kutoka kwangu direct nikimpiga chini. Nikaanza maelezo pale, ooh unajua mama yako haezi kubali ….

Nikasikia “fu.ck what other people are thinking, the equation is very simple, you love me or you don’t”, “ofcourse I love you, ninachoogopa ni kukupotezea muda wako” nikajielezea pale. Ndo akanambia “skiza Kiga (mara chache sana ananiitaga jina langu halisi), what my mom is feeling now is disappointment, aliniamini sana mimi na pia alikuamini sana wewe akijua huezi mfanyia ulichofanya, but mi na wewe tunajua kuwa tunachofanya kinasukumwa na hisia tunazofeel to each other. Baada ya muda hasira za mama zitapoa, inaeza chukua miezi but it will so lets not give up now”.

Nikashindwa kubisha wala kukubaliana nae. What she was saying made sense, ila najua kama angejua mkanda mzima asingefikiri anavyofikiri sasa. Kiufupi tukakubaliana kuendelea. Nikafurahi kuona anasmile. Akaanza kupata na soda pale huku ananisimulia namna alivyokuja. Anasema alivyoona simtafuti, ilikua hana jinsi ikabidi aje dsm. Alimwambia mama yake anataka aje dar amsalimie KM maana hajamuona muda. Mama yake aligoma katakata, mpaka ikabidi ampigie KM amsaidie kumuombea ruhusa. Mama yake alikubali kwa sharti la kutotoka kwenda popote alone. Ndo akafanikiwa kuja janayake na leo akaanza kunisaka hapa Kimara, akasema anabahati siku ile alisikia nikitaja mtaa ofisi yangu ilipo. Nlipomuuliza kama KM katoa ruhusa, akasema hapana, alivyotoka kwenda job na yeye kamalizia vishughuri pale akaja.

Badae nikamwambia akapaone na home kabisa. Akakubali kwa sharti la kutochelewa maana ni kama ametoroka home. Nikamfikisha hadi ghetto, kuingia ghetto lenyewe simpo, sebule ina stuli tu… na room kuna kitanda, godoro na stuli. It was such a simple life aisee. Bt hata hakumind, she sat on the bed nikakaa kwenye stuli. Akanionesha kwa ishara nikakae pembeni yake, nikatii. Nlivokaa, akanigeukia akaanza kunikiss. I missed those lips. And they didnt disappoint.

Bt nlivotaka kuanza kutalii maeneo mengine akaniomba niache. Akahofia tukianza atachelewa kutoka na kesho atashindwa kuja. Basi nikamuacha, we started talking other things, ndo akaniambia j3 wanafungua shule, so jpili anasepa. Bt akawa ameahidi kesho atakuja mapema.

Kesho yake mida ya saa nne kweli akaja. Nlikua hata sijatoka kitandani. Siku hiyo sikua na mpango wa kwenda kufungua ofisi. Kunfungulia ndo kuona kaja na mazagazaga kibao. Yaani alikuja na jiko la mafuta ya taa, masufuria, ndoo, sahani, vijiko vikombe yaani alifungasha hasa. Mi nashangaa pale, binti kaanza kuandaa cha kupika, alikua amenunua maini buchani pamoja na unga wa ugali. Akanambia nikajipumzishe room. Kweli nikamuachia nafasi afanye yake. Nikawa nacheki tu movie kitandani. Alifanya usafi kila mahali that day alivyomaliza kupika, then ndo akaniletea msosi, tukakaa chini tukaanza kula.

Mara anilishe na mimi namlisha, namsifia amepika vizuri (ingawa akawa anajistukia kazidisha chumvi, bt was ok to me) bas it was full burdani. After eating akaosha kila kitu then akaniambia tukaoge. Bafu lilikua out, ila kuna uzio na wapangaji ni wawili tu tunaoshare bafu, nikaona sio kesi twen’zetu. Aliniogesha that day, then alivonitakatisha, kaanza kuosha rombo kwa mdomo wake. It felt so good. Kiufupi cha kwanza nilikiachia mdomoni kwake, na wala hakuhangaika kutema……….

Mechi kamili ilipigwa ndani. Mpaka tunamaliza ni jioni kigiza kinaingia. Nlikua nmemuandalia zawadi ya hela. Nlijua anaenda shule so nikawa nimemuwekea laki moja katikati ya kadi ya ‘thank you’, nikamwambia asifungue mpaka kesho akiwa kwenye basi, akapromise atafanya hivyo. Wakati namsindikiza akaniambia ameniachia pia zawadi chini ya sahani kwenye stuli ya sebuleni, nikirudi nikaicheki. Nakumbuka nimemsindikiza hadi kituoni, nikaona haitoshi, nikapanda nae gari hadi ubungo pale tanesko ndo kituo kilikuepo. Nikampandisha gari za tabata, nikaona haitoshi na mimi nikazama. Kiufupi nlimsindikiza hadi nje ya nyumba yao that day.

Nlivorudi direct kwenye zawadi. Kufunua sahani, nakutana na hela. Elfu hamsini za noti. I just smilled. Nikaona ameandika na ujumbe, anasema “this is to show you that, I always got your back. So no matter what, please don’t give up on me….. I love you”.

……..The long winter……
Mawasiliano yetu na Nora yalikua yanaenda poa sana. Kiasi kwamba nikawa sometimes nasahau kabisa msala ulio mbele yangu. Kwa msukumo alionipa nikafanikiwa hatimaye kusajili kampuni yangu. Ofisi ikawa palepale nlipokuepo. Nikawa sasa natafuta taasisi zinazohitaji huduma za kampuni yangu.. mwanzo nilidhani issue itakua nyepesi, ila sikufanikiwa kuattract any customer, nikawa life linasonga kwa kazi zilezile za CD pale Kimara. Na mnaeza shangaa lakini nlikua nikipiga mahesabu hela nliyoingiza kwa mwezi ilikua inazidi mshahara nlokua napokea kule Dom, sema life ya DSM ni more expensive so sikua nasave kiviile kama kwenye job ya Dom.

Muda wote tukiwasiliana nae nlikua namuuliza khs mama yake. Na kila nlipomuuliza alikua ananijibu kwa huzuni, kuwa mama yake inaonekana bado anahuzunishwa na kilichotokea. Moyoni nlijua kinachomsumbua boss Rona wala sio mwanae kutiwa, ni ile shame ya kushare rombo na mwanae, hasa ile the last day. Na Nora akawa ananiambia sometimes alikua anamgusia kuhusu mimi ili walau anisamehe, akawq anamwambia eti mm ni kijana mstaarabu na najutia nlichofanya ndo maana nikaacha kazi kwenda kufungua kampuni ambayo wala hainilipi. bt mama yake hukasirika sana na kutotaka kusikia chochote.

Katika pilikapilika nikawa nimefahamu taasisi zilizo chini ya wizara flani zinampango wa kuweka systems mpya ktk mtandao wao wa ndani. So nikawa nimetuma proposals zangu ingawa nkijua sipati. Ktk maongezi na Nora nikawa nimemgusia ili aniweke kwenye maombi. Ilichukua muda kupata majibu, ila kuna siku nikaitwa wizarani. Nikawekwa mtu kati na wakugurugenzi kadhaa pale na wakuu wa hizo taasisi. Mmoja wao akaniambia kkampuni yangu imekua recommended na wakubwa, ila kabla ya kazi walitaka kujua namna ntakavyoifanya. Nikawapa presentation pale wakaonekana kuridhika. Badae sasa mmojja wapo ndo akaniita pembeni kaniambia nnachopaswa kufanya. Kiufupi ilitakiwa nifanye juu chini bajeti niizidishe mara tatu ya kiwango nnachohitaji, then nikilipwa nawapa chao, (yaani mara tatu ya bajeti halisi ndugu msomaji, bwana eeh, watu serikkalini wanajua kuiba).

Kweli issue ikatiki. Ingawa serikalini hulipwi kwa wakati ila kazi nlipewa. Kipindi hicho ilikua likizo fupi ya Nora, so ile wiki alikuja kwangu. Alivyosikia ile issue ya dili wizarani ndo akaniambia alimgusia mama yake na kumuomba kama ana namna yoyote afanye. Sikuamini direct kwamba Boss Rona anaeza kwanza kunisaidia bazazi mie, lakini pia sikuhisi ana hiyo influence ya kuweza kupendekeza tenda apewe fulani.

Ila matukio yaliyoendelea baadae yalinifanya niamini alihusika. Kwanza haikupita muda mrefu alihamishwa kule akarudishwa wizarani na akapandishwa cheo kuwa mmoja wa directors pale wizarani kwao, so nikajua she has someone very influential huko juu.

Ile wiki ya likizo ya Nora nliinjoi mno. Maana sikua nimewahi kukaa nae siku nyingi hivyo. Pamoja na malavidavi, ma outing na mashopping, she helped with my business pale kibandani kwangu. Na akanishauri nitafute mdada wa kuwa ananisaidia maana now ntakua busy zaidi na kazi za kampuni. Nikakubbaliana nae, basi akasema ataendesha zoezi la usahili mwenyewe. Na kweli akaweka matangazo na akampata binti mmoja wa kirangi anaitwa Nasra. Nasra ndo alikua amemaliza diploma ya IT, tukamuajiri kama intern maana hatukutaka kuanza kumlipa pesa ndefu, kazi yenyewe moja tu nliyopata na bado pesa ya kumaliziwa ambayo ndo kubwa sijapewa bado.

Nora alivyorudi shule ndo akanambia amemuajiri Nasra makusudi. Maana anajua kuelekea mbele mpaka amalize form six inaweza ikawa tunaonana kwa nadra so Nasra atakua ananipooza nikibanwa ham. Yani Nora alikua anaongea huku anacheka, nikawq najua utani. Ila akawa ananisisitiza mara zote, kuwa msichana pekee atakae ruhusu nimgonge ni Nasra, ila nisifall nae tu. Nikawa nampotezea najua ni utoto.

Ile hela bana ya wizara nlivokuja lipwa ilibadilisha my life. Nikanunua ki starlet kutoka kwa jamaa mmoja hivi tulisoma nae. Nikapanua pale ofisini, yani nikakodi the next room halafu nikaviunganisha. Nikawa sasa najiona mtu, hata mama akija atanisifu kwa kutoboa life bila usaidizi wake. The year passed, Nora kamaliza shule. Kampuni ikawa inajulikana katika korido za serikali. Nasra sikuwahi hata kumtamani ingawa nshapewa go ahead na Nora, yy mwenyewe aliniheshim sana kama boss wake. Pale ofisini nikawa nimeongeza dogo mwingine aliitwa Mussa ambae kwa kweli nilimuajiri baada ya kuona anajituma sana ukimpa kazi kama kibarua wa muda, na alionesha anamajukum kinoma. So nikaona nimsaidie kwa kumpa namna ya kupata income kila mwezi, so tukawa watatu pale job.

Baada ya kumaliza shule, ile amefika dar tu (maana familia nzima sasa ilikua dsm), kesho yake kaja. That day sikwenda hata job. Tulijifungia tu home, tulikulana kinoma siku hiyo, msosi tukaenda chukua tu takeaway bt kazi kubwa ilikua mikasi. Badae ananiuliza kama nilimla Nasra, nikamhakikishia I’ve never been with anyone else. Tukaanza kupanga mipango ya kumuingia maza ake sasa. Akasema itabidi amshirikishe KM maana now anajiona ashakua na she wants me to be accepted in the family. Nikawa nasita. Maana najua, boss Rona anaeza amua kama mbwai mbwai akamwaga siri. Nikawa namshauri tujipe muda kwanza.

Sehemu Ya 6

Sisi tunapanga yetu kumbe Mungu nae anamipango yake. Mwezi mmoja tu tangu arudi, akanambia anamimba. Alitegemea nifurahi alivyonipa taarifa ila sikuonesha furaha. Hii ilimchukizq na kuhisi sina mpango wa muda mrefu naye. Ikabidi nimshawishi kwa kumwambia mawazo yangu ni kwa bibi wa mtoto, hataweza kumkubali. Akaahidi ataenda kuongea nae. Kuna kitu kikawa kinaniambia kabisa hii ndo mwisho wako na Nora, bt nikawa ninahope maybe im wrong.

Tulikubaliana siku hiyo hiyo akamwambie mama yake. So ilivyofika night kama saa sita hivi nikamtumia text, “nipe mrejesho, what did she say” hakujibu. Nikasubiri mpaka saa nane, kila text ikiingia nahisi yeye bt inakua sio. Nikalala.

Kesho yake nastushwa na hodi mlangoni. Kufungua Nora. Nikajaribu kumsoma uso, naona hausomeki. Nikawa naogopa hata kuuliza swali. Nora akakaa, akaanza kulia.

Nikkajua tu huyu kaambiwa ukweli, nikatamani kumsogelea nimbembeleze bt nikahisi atanizabua vibao. Then nikasikia anasema, “I don’t know why my mom hates you so much” then akaendelea kulia, nikajua huyu bado hajaambiwa. Ndo nikapata nguvu kumsogelea na kuanza mbembeleza. Nlivoona hatulii bado nikatumia mbinu aliyotumia kunibembeleza skuile nalia kule dom.

Nikamsimamisha akiwa bado amenikumbatia analia, nikaanza kumfungua vifungo vya blouse aliyovaa, bahati nzuri alivaa sketi sku hiyo so nliifungua na kuiachia ishuke, akabaki na pichu. Nikawa nampapasa kuanzia mgongoni hadi kwenye matako, yaani kama nambembeleza, she was still crying. Nikambeba hadi kitandani. Nlivomlaza chali nikaenda direct uvinza. Nikkaona taratibu kilio kinabadilika, from huzuni tu utam. Nlimchezea sana that day, yani hadi nakuja mimi kuingia ashajifunga sana magoli.

Baada ya mechi akawa amechangamka sasa. Ndo akanisimulia ilivokua… akasema, “nlivyorudi home jana nlikuta mom hajarudi, so nikajitahidi kjmpikia msosi anaopenda nikakaa kumsubiri. Wakati anakula nikamwambia, mom kuna kitu nataka kukwambia…. Mom akaacha kula akaniangalia kwa muda bila kujibu kitu, Nikamwambia I think I am pregnant. Wala hakustuka, ndo kwanza akaendelea kula… nlivoona ukimya nikamuuliza mbona haulizi hata ni ya nani, ndo akanijibu anajua ni ya nani, na kwa taarifa yangu nisijidanganye kuwa kubeba mimba kutamfanya akuruhusu ww unioe, eti labda tusubiri afe…”, alipofika hapa nikaona anaqnza kulia tena…. Dah nikikumbuka shughuri iliyomfanya anyamaze ile mwanzo nikaishiwa nguvu.

Nikawa nambembeleza kawaida. Nikamwambia itabidi niende personally. Nikamshawishi arudi home then jpili mm ntaenda kuongea na boss. Nlichagua jpili kwa maana nlijua Nora lazma atakua ameenda church na watoto na alikua ameniambia KM hayupo that week. Akakubali plan yangu, akarudi home.

Jpili mapema kama saa nne nikafika mbele ya nyumba ya KM. Nikagonga akaja kufungua housegirl, boss alikua room kwake so nikaambiwa nisubiri sebuleni. After few minutes akaja. She still looked beautiful though niliona ule ujana umemuisha. Nikawa natafakari nimsalimieje… nikajikuta nimetamka tu “shikamoo mama”… wala hakujibu, … “unafanya nn hapa”, ndo alichoweza kuniambia. “nimekuja kukuomba msamaha boss, am sorry for everything that happened “, hii kama ilipandisha hasira zake. Maana alianza kufoka, ila alitumia lugha ya kiingereza nadhani kumficha hg asielewe, “sorry for what, sleeping with a school girl or kumjaza mimba, hivi unajua nimekustahi sana Kiga, ulipaswa uwe jela ndiko unakostahili malaya mkubwa wewe, mwanaume gani usiye na chembe ya aibu, tena usiizoee kabisa hii familia”,

“Boss najua unahasira, hata ingekua mm ningejisikia the same. Ila nilijikuta nimempenda Nora, sikua na nia ya kufanya kuwachanganya”, hii kidogo ilimfanya apoe, maana nimegusa hasa kinachomuumiza. Nikaona ndo muda mwafaka wa kuendelea, “nnachoomba tusahau yaliyopita, tuliyofanya yabaki siri yetu na aibu yetu, hupaswi kumtesa pia Nora” nlivosema haya akawa ananijibu kwq sauti kama ya huzuni “please don’t say anything”, mi nikajua ndo sindano inamuingia vizuri nikaendelea, “hapana boss, inabidi tuzungumze kama watu wazima mm na ww. Tuliyoyafanya hayakua sawa, najua ulinipenda sana, na ningumu kuruhusu mpenzi wako wa zamani kuwa na mwanao lakini ni muda sasa umepita, please niruhusu niwe na mwanao tulee mjukuu wako”,

At this moment nikaona amezamisha uso kwenye mikono yake. Nikawa kama sielewi why kawa mpole ghafla, nlitegemeq apandishe hasira zaidi. Dakika mbili mbele nikajua why boss Rona kawa mpole kama kamwagiwa maji….

Kumbe jumapili hii Nora hakwenda church…… ile nimeangalia mbele yangu namuona anaingia sebuleni ananiangaliakwa mshangao. Mawazo yangu yakawa yananiambia atakua hajasikia chochote. Ule ukimya uliokua pale ndani ungeweza kuukata na kisu ndugu msomaji. Wote tukawa tunamuangalia Nora. Alichokifanya alienda kwa mama yake, akapiga magoti akainamisha kichwa, “am sorry mama, I know now how you must have felt muda wote huu”…. Nikawa nasubiri anambie na mimi amenisamehe, ila alivyonigeukia nliona sura tofauti kabisa. She was burning with anger. Akiwa amemshika mama yake mkono akaniambia “how could u do this……umenionesha ni mwanaume wa aina gani …. Please get out of my life and forget us” nikawa nataka nijitetee pale “but babe…” hata sikumaliza, nlistukia amebeba stuli iliyokaribu akawa ananitwisha kichwani, bahati nzuri nikaweka mkono, nikasikia kama mfupa umekata huko ndani, akawa ananyanyua anitwishe tena, mama yake akamuwahi, nikaona hapa sio pa kukaa. Nikatoka kwa spidi.

Ule mkono nlienda kufunga POP ndugu wasomaji. Bt it was a small price to pay kwa makosa nliyotenda. Makosa hayo nadhani yako categorized kama crimes against humanity. Sikua na namna ya kuwasiliana na yoyote kati ya Rona na Nora. Sikuweza jua Nora anaendeleaje na mimba yangu. Hii break up pia iliniathiri sana, maana mipango yangu yote ilikua inarevolve around my life with Nora. Kazini nikawa ufanisi unapungua, mpaka ikabidi Nasra anibane nimwambie kinachonisibu, nikamwambia tu ni issues za mapenzi. Kwa kweli Nasra alijitahidi kunifanya nichangamke. Alianza kuwa ananitembelea marakwamara home, ataniletea msosi,atanilazimisha kutoka ili mradi nisiendelee kukonda maana nliisha ndugu msomaji.

Miezi ilipita, nikashangaa why nashindwa mpotezea Nora. Kwa msaada wa mitandao nikafanikiwa kujua hadi chuo alichopata. It was IFM. Nakumbuka chuo kilipofunguliwa nilikua naenda kila siku nakaa pale kantini, nikajua one day ntagongana nae. Wiki mbili hola, ikabidi niulizie ofisi yao ya registrar, nikaambiwa huyo mtu hajaripoti chuo. Bt nlikua nimedhamiria kumuona, nikahamishia trip zangu mitaa ya kwao, mpaka one day nikamuona housegirl wao yuko alone kwenye duka la jirani. Alivoniona akastuka, nikajua amenikumbuka.

Nikamuomba asinichukulie vibaya, nataka kujua tu khs Nora. Ndo akanisimulia Nora alifanya attempts mbili za kujiua. Mama yake alichukua likizo ili kumuweka sawa mwanae. “yaani ww kaka itakua kosa ulilimfanyia da Nora ni kubwa sana”, nikamwambia hapana mi nampenda siwezi mdhuru. Nikamuuliza alipo, akasema walienda Ethiopia ila wanarudi wiki hii. Nikajua ndo maana hajaripoti chuo, itakua walienda kumsaka Mekonnen.

IFM nikawa naenda mara moja moja kucheki tu. Mungu sio Juma, kweli one day nikamuona. Na tumbo kubwa tu nikafurahi kimoyomoyo. Alikua amesimama na mkaka flani hivi shombeshombe. Nikapiga moyo konde nikamsogelea. Alivyoniona hakunipa hata nafasi ya kumsalimia… “unapataje ujasiri wa kuniface we malaya?” yaani hakujali ni mbele za watu. “Nora please, give me a chance, “…. Nikasikia kitu ambacho sikutarajia kusikia kutoka kwake, “kalale kwanza na mama yako ndo uje hapa k***lamamayako”.

Nadhani na yeye alihisi uzito wa maneno aliyotamka, maana alinyamaza kimya baada ya tusi. Aliona pia uso wangu ulivyokua umeshangaa na unaonesha disappointment. Nilikumbuka vile viapo vyake pale mwanza kuwa ataniheshimu na hataniacha niaibike, nadhani na yeye alikuwa anakumbuka the same, maana yule mkaka akawa anajaribu kumshika waondoke pale akamsukuma pia kwa hasira, kisha akaondokq huku analia akaniacha pale nimesimama kama sanamu. Kuna muuza madafu mmoja pale ndo akanistua, “oya dogo, hao mahafkast wanachukuanaga wenyewe asikuchanganye huyo, tafuta mndengeleko mwenzako” sikumjibu hata, nikasepa zangu.

That day ndo nilimfuta Nora kwenye akili yangu rasmi. Nikaanza kumchukia. Hii ikafanya hali yangu iwe mbaya zaidi kisaikolojia. Nakumbuka ndo kipindi nikaanza kulakula mademu. Ndo ikapelekea hadi nikaanza kule wale mabinti waliokua majirani zangu kule Arusha akina Pendo. Namshukuru sana Nasra, maana aliona boss wake napotea. Maana sio umalaya tu, nlianza kua mlevi pia. Ndo alipoamua kutafuta mawasiliano na home.

Kuna siku mi narudi zangu nimelewa saa sita hivi, niko na kidemu hata sikumbuki nlikitoa wapi. Kufika geto nawakuta my Sis akiwa na Nasra wamenisubiri nje. Nasra akakatimua kale kabinti, ndo kunipeleka ndani. Nimelewa, Nasra akanivua viatu pamoja na Tshirt, akanilaza kwenye kochi kaanza kunifuta mijasho ili nipoe nilale. Wao walilala room mi wakaniacha sebuleni. Asubuhi naamka ndo tunasalimiana. Yani Sis alivoniona fresh alilengwalengwa na machozi. Maana nlikua very rough, mindevu kama yote, nywele sizijali yani niponipo tu alafu nimekonda mbaya. Nasra alishamhadithia kinachonisumbua, so akasema ataenda kuongea na Nora. Nikamkataza tena kwa viapo yaani asithubutu. Nikawa namwambia tu it will take time bt I will get over her.

Discussion ikapigwa fasta, Nasra akashauri nisafiri nibadili mazingira. Sis akakubaliana nae na akasema atashauriana na maza kuona permanent solution. Bt sis akasema kabisa huyu sio wa kukaa mwenyewe, he needs kuwa na mtu wa kumuangalia. Nasra akajitolea kunikeep company. Ofisi tukamuachia Mussa, kesho yake tukasepa Zanzibar kwa ufadhili na pendekezo la sister. The trip ilinireflesh kinoma. Na zaidi ya yote nlitokea kumuona vizuri Nasra. Ndani ya baibui aliyokua anavaa kulikua na shepu moja amazing mazee, na ile rangi nyeupe ya kirangi kwa.kweli she was good looking. Tulikua tukienda kuogelea nabaki namkodolea mijicho. Alikua akiona namshangaa atacheka alafu ananirushia maji. Tumekaa pale wiki, separate rooms, so usiku wakati wa kulala ndo tunaachana bt kuanzia asbh anakuja room kwangu tunashinda wote.

The last day nakumbuka ndo akajidai mshauri nasaha hahahaha. Nakumbuka nlikua nmejilaza bed nasoma kitabu cha Simon Sinek kinaitwa ‘start with why’ (btw, kama unadream zq kuanzisha biashara, au unabiashara tafuta hicho kitabu ukisome then utakuja nishukuru inbox ukimaliza), Nasra kaanza kuniambia I should not waste my life kwa ajili ya mapenzi, am still young na vitu kama hizo… nikaona ananizingua, nikageukia ukutani kabisa. Alivoona nimemind akajisikia guilty kwa kuspoil mood yangu. Akaja bed ananiomba msamaha, eti am sorry boss, sikua na nia ya kukukumbusha machungu, alivoona sijibu kitu akawa amejilaza tu next tu me. Nikaanza jisikia vibaya kuwa namfanyia sio fair, binti wa wattu has always been by my side. Nikamgeukia, nae akalalia ubavu akanigeukia, tukawa tunaangaliana.

Hata sijui kwanini, ila tulijikuta tunatabasam.. then I touched kiuno, she didn’t stop me. Nikamsogezea lips, Nasra akazipokea. Sasa sijui nilimla kimasihara? Au aligawa mzigo kwa kunionea huruma, maana naskia wadada anaeza kukupa tu ili ujisikie vizuri. Ila nnachojua Nasra alikua wa moto balaa, alaf mlaini kama pamba. Siku hiyo alilala kwangu. Nikajilaum why sikuanza nae siku nyingi maana kama ruhusa nlishapewaga na Nora hahaha.

Tulivorudi bongo, namkuta sis yupo bado. Ndo ananipa taarifa wamenifanyia mchongo wa kwenda kusoma Masters nje huko. Nikawa napinga sitaki kusoma. Wote wakaungana yaani Mama, Nasra na Sis kuwa itakua poa nikienda. Sikutaka kupoteza 2yrs of my life kusoma. Wanasema masters ya hiyo nchi ni mwaka mmoja tu. Na naanza mwezi ujao kila kitu washafanya.

Basi ule mwezi wa maandalizi nikawa kama nimemuoa Nasra. Sijui aliaga vipi kwao, lakini most of days alikua pale kwangu. Hadi ofisini Mussa alishtukia namla Nasra. Na alionekana kutofurahishwa kabisa. One day akaniuliza kabisa, eti boss unatoka na Nasra? Nikamhakikishia sio kweli, namheshim sana kama mfanyakazi wangu ndo akawa kama ametulia, nikajua nayeye anampenda. Nikamwambia tu ntamuachia ofisi aiendeshe wakati sipo.

So that’s how I went and stayed one yr in England…..

………….The twilight………..

Last weekend nilifika salama home. As the saying goes, go East, go West, home is always the best. Alinipokea Shemeji yenu airport, sometimes huwa natamani nimwambie haitaji kutake all the trouble kutoka home, kunegotiate traffic njiani ili tu aje anipokee. But sitaki kuwa muongo, the sight of her as I come out of the airport mesmerizes me. Last weekend nlivomuona tu akanifuata, kabla hata hajanipokea mizigo, she gave me that long hug. Ile hug ya kuhisi mtu amedissolve kwenye mwili wako completely. Ile harufu nzuri na mgusano wa miili yetu ulifanya nijione mtu mwenye bahati kuliko wote duniani kuwa na huyu mrembo. Ikanikumbusha pia siku ya harusi yetu. Watu wote wa karibu kwangu na kwa mke wangu walikuepo siku hiyo. I felt very lucky that day. I was happy to see that even Boss Rona na familia yake yote walikuja. The only sad thing siku ya wedding yangu ni kuwa Mussa hakuwepo siku hiyo. Pamoja na mambo yote yaliyotokea between us, ila ningependa sana angekuepo pia siku hiyo.

Mussa sikua na tatizo nae. Kwanza alijitahidi sana kumanage vizuri kampuni yangu kipindi nikiwa nimeenda UK. Nakumbuka wiki za mwanzo mwanzo baada ya kuondoka Tz, nlikua na wasiwasi sana kuhusu uendeshaji wa kampuni. Ingawa nlikua nimemuachia Mussa shughuri zote za uendeshaji, lakini sikua na Imani nae sana kama ataweza majukumu. So kila mara nlikua najaribu kumpigia simu kujaribu kuona namna mambo yanaenda. Sio yeye tu, Nasra pia nlimdadisi kila mara kama mambo yanaenda poa. Wote wawili walikua wananitoa wasiwasi. Infact, baada kama ya miezi miwili, nikaona kampuni inaenda poa Zaidi hata ya nlivokuepo mimi. Zile dili ndogondogo walikua wanazipata sana kutoka hasa serikalini maana bado jina la kampuni lilikua linaaminika. Nilipoona mambo yanaenda poa nikaacha kuwauliza na kuwadadisi sana.

My life in the UK siwezi sema ilikua poa. Maana sikuinjoi kabisa. Nlikua kama roboti tu. Naenda chuo, nikitoka narudi room. Hii lifestyle ikawa inanifanya nakua kama antisocial flani hivi. Nakumbuka hata Nasra ambaye ndo mtu pekee ambaye kila siku ilikua lazma anicheki, akawa ananisisitiza sana nijaribu kujichanganya kwenye activities kadhaa. Ilifika muda mpaka nikatamani nikaongee na hawa jamaa wa saikolojia na mambo ya counselling. Bt nikaona nijaribu kujiweka bize labda itasaidia. So nikatafuta vi part time jobs pale karibu na chuo. Nakumbuka nilipata sehem kama mbili hivi, kuna maduka yanaitwa 7 eleven nikawa naingia shift ya kukesha kila ijumaa na jumamosi. Then kuna bar flani nlikua naenda kupiga kazi jumanne na alhamisi kuanzia jioni hadi saa sita usiku. This ikanisaidia tu kunikeep busy sana. Na kiukweli ilinipa pesa ambayo wala sikua na matumizi nayo sana. Kule lab (chuo) nako prof aliyekua ananisupervise alikua ananipa sana pesa, mkipiga kazi kidogo anakulipa. So nikawa kila mwezi natuma pesa in my personal account bongo.

Kuna jamaa yangu mmoja hua anasema wanaume wote wana umalaya ndani yao. Kinachosaidia baadhi yao ni ile tu kulinda heshima. Ila isingekua hivyo basi tungekua tunatongoza na kugonga kila dem anaekatiza. Sijui kama ni kweli, ila kipindi niko UK kiukweli sikua na ham kabisa ya nyapu. Sio hata sababu ya Nora, maana Nora mwenyewe nishaanza kumsahau, basi tu sijui kwa nini hata ham ilinikimbia. So mpango na madem wala sikua nao. Nakumbuka kuna dada mmoja kutoka Gabon alionesha kila dalili anataka nimgonge, ila wala hata sikunotice kipindi hicho, nlivorudi bongo ndo nikawa najilaum why sikumla. So maisha yangu yote Uk nlikula only once, tena mechi ilikua mbovu balaa, yaani niliaibisha nchi siku hiyo nkt.

I remember ilivobaki kama miezi mitatu nimalize masomo, nikiwa ndo kwanza nimeingia maabara asubuhi na mapema, ile nafungua email, nakutana na email ya Rona Ghatti. Subject, ‘MUHIMU’. Nikawa nimepigwa butwaa pale, nashindwa nifungue au niache. Boss Rona atanitafuta kwa lipi jema? Lazma kuna jambo baya ambalo limetokea na ameona anitaarifu. Nlipanik kinoma. Mawazo yangu yakawa yanajaribu kutafuta jambo gani ambalo limetokea. Nlikaa kama nusu saa, ndo nikapata nguvu ya kufungua, nikasoma…

……… Hi Kiga. Natumaini uko poa. Kuna habari ambazo sio nzuri kuhusu kampuni yako zinatembea hapa wizarani nikaona nikujulishe. Nilipoulizia nikaambiwa umesafiri muda mrefu. Please check na watu wanaoiendesha kampuni kwa sasa ili mlisolve hili kabla halijawa baya Zaidi.

Regards,

Rona.

………………

Nikashusha pumzi. Maana sio kwa pressure nliokua nayo. Nlishaanza kuhisi labda Norah kadanja hahahaha. Bt email ikanipa pressure nyingine sasa. What’s happening. Mpaka Rona ameamua kunipa taarifa, itakua kuna issue kubwa mno. So nikaomba udhuru pale lab, nikasepa room. Mtu wa kwanza kumcheki ni Nasra. Alivyopokea tu nikamuuliza kitu gani kinaendelea pale job. Mwanzo alijaribu nitoa wasiwasi kuwa kila kitu kipo sawa, nikwamwambia asinidanganye maana nishapewa taarifa all is not well. Ndo akafunguka…..

Mussa aliweza kupata dili moja kubwa kinoma. Ilikua kusambaza na kuinstall kompyuta mpya kwenye vyuo vyote vya ualimu bongo. Yaani ni ile tenda mkipiga mnakua mmetusua life. Shida ya Mussa ni kutokua na ule ujanja wa town, yaaani zile soft skillz za management hakua nazo, hasa ilipofika wakati anatakiwa anunue idadi kubwa sana kompyuta na wakati huohuo kuajiri mafundi wengi kwa mpigo katika mikoa yote yenye vyuo vya ualimu. Bajeti ikawa inagoma. Ikabidi asafishe account ya ofisi, lakini alivyojumlisha na ile advance ya seikali bado ikawa haitoshi, ilivyopelea ikabidi akope. Yote hayo lakini pesa ikatosha tu kununua komputa. Installation ilifanyika chuo kimoja tu, hela ikakata. Kwa kuwa huwezi wakopa mafundi, kazi ikalala. Bahati mbaya waziri akawa anatembelea chuo kimoja wapo, ndo kakuta komputa zipo kwenye maboksi bado. Msala ukasanuka.

Nlimind kichizi. Nilimgombeza kinoma Nasra, akawa Analia tu. Namuuliza why hawakunishirikisha, akawa anasema Mussa alitaka iwe surprize, nikute mpunga tu kwenye account. Nikawa namwambia alivoona kazi haiendi mbona hakuniambia wakati tunaongea kila siku, akajitetea kuwa Mussa alimwambia kila kitu kitakua sawa so akaamini mshkaji atasolve. Nikamvutia waya Mussa sasa. Ndo akanipa mwanga kwa nini ameshindwa, lawama zote anazitupa kwa supplier wa computers, kuwa alimpandishia sana bei. Nikaona now sio muda wa kulaumiana, jamaa ataenda jela asipoangalia. Within 3 days nikawa nimeshaongea na jamaa wanaitwa ‘Wakuda Inc’ ambao walikua ni kama mahasimu wetu in business,. Iliniuma ila sikua na jinsi, nikatoa maelekezo wauziwe ile kazi. Tukakubaliana nao walipe deni tulilokopa, waturudishie pia sehem ya gharama tulizotumia. Likawa limeisha. Ila na kampuni ndo ikawa kama imekufa rasmi.

Nasra na Mussa wakawa unemployed. Bt Nasra ilikua ashakua kama a friend with benefits, so nikajihisi napaswa fanya kitu walau asipauke mjini. Nikaongea na sis akaniambia nimwambie aende Arusha haezi kosa la kufanya. Kwa maelezo ya Nasra, Mussa alienda kuajiriwa na Wakuda Inc. ingawa mara zote Nasra alikua ananiambia hana mahusiano na Mussa ila nlikua simuamini. Alikua ananiambia ni kweli Mussa ashamwambia anampenda, ila hataki kuingia kwenye mahusiano na mtu ambae hampendi, “kwani mimi unanipenda?” nakumbuka kuna siku nilimuuliza, “hahahahaha, wewe ni case tofauti boss” akajibu huku akicheka.

Ile email ya boss Rona ilikua mwanzo wa mimi kuwasiliana nae. Alionesha amekua mpole na amepona majeraha ya moyo. Hadi nikahisi labda kapata mtu mwingine amempenda. Mawasiliano ya email yalivyochanganyia, ikabidi niombe tuwasiliane kwa simu, nikamtumia namba yangu ambayo kimsingi ni ileile ambayo nlikua naitumia zamani, kwa sasa nlikua naitumia kwa WhatsApp pekee. Kesho yake nikakuta kweli amenitext kwenye simu. Akanipa na hongera kwa kupata mtoto wa kiume ambaye kwa sasa anamiezi kadhaa. I was so happy hatimae kumuona mwanangu ingawa ni kwa njia ya picha tu. Kuuliza anaitwa nani akaniambia wamemuita ‘Tafari Kiga Koyo’. Walipenda mtoto asisahau asili yake ya Habeshi. Ingawa tulikua tunawasiliana, ila hata siku moja hakuwahi kuniambia habari za Nora, na wala sikuuliza. Na pia tulijifanya kama tumesahau hivi yaliyotokea nyuma, we never even once speak about them. Ilikua ni salam, mtoto anaendeleaje, kazi vipi, masomo vipi, formal convo only.

Siku hazigandi. Nikamaliza chuo. Wiki moja kabla sijarudi nlimwambia Nasra akanitafutie nyumba Kinondoni. Ikawa hivyo, alipata a good house with two bedrooms mitaa ya mwananyamala komakoma pale. Alivopata nikamtumia hela akalipiakodi na kununulia vitu vya muhimu. Ile natua airport namkuta kaja kunipokea. Nasra bana, mbele ya watu si akaninyonya denda la few seconds hahaha, hata sikupinga. Nasra alikua amezidi kunawiri, picha alizokua ananitumia hazikua zinamtendea haki. In person alikua amezidi kung’aa, ingawa hakua bonge, ila mwili uliongezeka nyama kiasi, kiasi kwamba hata ndani ya baibui aliyovaa uliona kabisa tako lileee. Kufika home, ham ya mapenzi ambayo ilikua kama imefifia nlivokua UK, ikarudi kama mara miasita Zaidi. Hizo kelele Nasra alipiga hakuwahi zipiga before. Tulikulana balaa. Pamoja na zawadi nlizomletea aliinjoi sana mikito ya that day.

Nasra alinipa kampani kama two days then akarudi Arusha. Nikaanza sasa kumsumbua Rona anisaidie nimuone mtoto live. Akanambia kwa kweli mamlaka ya kutoa hiyo ruhusa hana. Mama mtoto yuko na mtoto 24 hrs, na inavyoonekana hana mpango wa kunikutanisha nae, kiufupi she has moved on completely hata ile furaha yake imerudi since amepata mtoto. Duh nikaona hapa kazi ipo. Nikawaza tu, njia za kistaarabu zikishindikana itabidi tu tupelekane mahakamani ili nipate haki ya kuwa na mwanangu. I remember after a week ya kupumzika nikaenda zangu home Arusha kuwasalimia mom na sis. One day sis ndo akaniambia “hivi kwa nini msioane na Nasra?”, nikashtuka, “why, amekwambia anataka nimuoe?”, “hapana, ila naona mtoto wa watu anavyokupenda, na amekua na wewe through thick and thin. Na pia usidhani sijui kuwa unamla, so ambacho sitapenda ni kuona unamtumia mtoto wa watu then unamuacha, bora kama huna mpango nae umuweke wazi kabisa” nikaona hii miyeyusho, ikabidi nimwambie mbona Nasra anamtu wake, sis akacheka kinoma then akanambia, “so unatembea na girlfriend wa mtu?, Nasra ameniambia kuna mtu anataka amuoe hata kesho akikubali, ila yeye hataki kuolewa kwa sasa, mi najua hataki kuolewa kwa kuwa anamatumaini wewe utamuoa, ndo maana nakuambia kama huna mpango nae mwambie”…. Hata sikumjibu, nikaendelea na mambo yangu. Ile wiki nimekaa Arusha, Nasra ndo kampani yangu. Sometimes analala kabisa home, tunazuga atalala chumba cha wageni usiku anahamia kwangu. Bt sijawahi jutia, she was soooo sweet, ule utam ambao unasema mbona leo tam Zaidi ya jana, kesho unasema the same thing dah.

I remember mom alinipa gari yake Harrier nyeusi niwe naitumia, siku naondoka akasema nenda nayo tu mm siitumii sana. Nikamilikishwa mchuma. Kurudi dsm nikaona jitafute cha kufanya sasa, maana ingawa pesa nlikua nayo in my account, bt ile kutokua na shughuri maalum ikawa inaniboa. Nikatumia connections nlizozitengeneza wakati nina kampuni, nikapata kazi chuo kimoja mitaa ya kurasini kama system administrator. Kazi hazikua nyingi sana, labda mwanzo wa semester ambapo ilibidi niwaweke vijana wapya kwenye mfumo. So tofauti na shughuri za kawaida sana za kila siku, ni kazi ambayo haikua inanipa stress. Jitihada zangu za kumuona mwanangu wala hazikufua dafu, Rona akawa ananipa moyo kuwa nisiwe na haraka, kwa kuwa mtoto ni wangu nisiwe na wasiwasi oneday ntampata.

Miezi ikapita. Idadi ya madem nliyowala ikawa inaongezeka tu. Hasa mabinti wa chuo. Walikua wakiona ile Harrier wanachanganyikiwa. Ila mchepuko wangu wa kudum Nasra tukawa tunaendelea kama kawa. One Friday nipo kazini mom akanipigia simu ananiomba niende Arusha maana hajisikii poa na akiniona labda atajisikia nafuu. Ilikua ni strange kwangu, nikaona maza anazeeka vibaya. Ila nikaona sio kesi. Uzuri Nasra alikua amekuja Dsm kusalimia wazazi wke pia, nikamwambia kama vipi tudrive keshoyake to Arusha. So akaja kulala kwangu, then asbuhi tukasepa. It was a lovely trip. Tulitiana sana njiani. Tatizo la Nasra, ukipitisha tu mkono katikati ya mapaja yake anakwambia analoana duh, inabidi mpaki pembeni hahahha. Kuna mahali kulikua na vichaka flani, nikampeleka nyuma ya kichaka nikamuinamisha. Hadi tunafika Arusha tuko hoi.

Nimekaa Arusha weekend yote. Jtatu nlikua nimepanga nigeuze. Bt hali ya maza ikabadilika ghafla, so ikabidi nisisafiri. Nakumbuka siku ya jumanne jioni, maza akafariki. It still saddens me when I remember. RIP mom, I miss you. It was such a huge blow in my life. Ingawa kifo cha mama kilinichanganya, ila kilimchanganya Zaidi sis. Hakua anaweza kufanya kitu, so kila kitu inabidi mimi ndo nihusike kujibu. Nakumbuka jumatano jioni nimetoka nje ya nyumba ili niongee na simu, walikua watu tuliowaomba wafuatilie issues za hospitali alikokua mama. Ile namaliza kuongea nikageuka, uso kwa uso na Nora.

Hakua amebadilika sana. Pamoja na kujifungua na kulea, ila bado alikua kipotable kama zamani. Alikua amejifunga vitenge na kichwani anakiremba ule mtindo wa msibani, but she still looked beautiful, especially her eyes. Tulibaki tunaangaliana tu, there were so many words that needed to be said between us, ila ndo maneno hayakua yanatoka. Kama mwanamziki mmoja anaitwa Passenger alivyoimba akasema, …’sometimes words aren’t the right words to say’. Tumesimama pale bila kusema kitu kwa dakika kama mbili nzima. Then she approached me… “Kiga……. (akapause) pole kwa msiba, najua ni kipindi kigumu unapitia bt Mungu atakuvusha”… alivonambia hivi, sijui hata kilio kilitoka wapi, ila nilihisi simanzi nzito mno moyoni. I started crying. She gave me a hug, nililia sana begani kwake mpaka pakawa pameloana. Sikua najua simanzi nliyokua nayo ni kwa sababu ya kuondokewa na mama, au kuna masimanzi mengine yalikua yamejikusanya kufuani. Muda wote nalia, yeye ananiambia tu, “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry……..”.

Wakati bado nalia begani kwake, simu yangu nayo ikawa inaita mfululizo. Sikua na uwezo wa kuongea, baada ya kutulia kidogo tukawa tumekaa kwenye viti vilivojitenga pale nje, simu ikaendelea kuita ilibidi Nora aichukue simu yangu apokee. Kuanzia hapo ndo akachukua rasmi majukumu ya kufanya coordination zote za msiba. Nakumbuka tukiwa bado tumekaa pale kitu cha kwanza kuuliza baada ya kupata ahueni ni alipo mwanangu, akaniambia Tafari alichukuliwa na Nasra akampeleka kumlaza bt alimwambia akiamka aniletee. Akawa ananiaga kuwa itabidi aende town kushughurikia issues za kuongeza maturubai pamoja na caterers, ila kabla hajaondoka nikaona Nasra anakuja akiwa amembeba Tafari. The boy was a bit shy, bt after few minutes akawa haniogopi. Ile kumhug mwanangu for the first time, kidogo nianze kulia upya. It felt good.

Mtoto ikawa nipo nae muda wote. Mama yake alikua bize sana, so Nasra ndo akawa ananisaidia kama kumuogesha na kumbadili nguo. Ule msiba ulinifanya nimfaham pia vyema Nasra, alikua na moyo wa upendo sana. Namna alivyokua anamhandle Tafari unaona anafanya kabisa kwa upendo sio kwa kua imembidi. Nora hakunishangaza sana jinsi alivyo take charge ya shughuri za msiba. She is that kind of person. Siku zote hizi za msiba pia, simu yangu alikua nayo yeye. Mwanzo sikua nimewaza kuhusu msg za madem zangu akiwemo Nasra, na hata nlivokumbuka ikawa ni too late, kama ni kuziona atakua ashaziona. Baada ya maziko, tukakaa Arusha wiki moja Zaidi, then tukarudi wote DSM kwa gari binafsi. Nakumbuka tulikua tunabadilishana kudrive. Tulianza mimi na Nora tukiwa mbele, mimi nikiendesha, Nasra akiwa backseat. Kufika mitaa ya Same Nasra akawa amelala usingizi. Nikastukia Nora ananiambia, “she is a very good girl, Nasra”, nikaangalia kwenye kioo nikaona Nasra alivolala, kwa kweli alikua ana sura nzuri, nikamjibu Nora, “yeah, she is”, “she loves you, you know?”, alivosema hivi nikageuka kumuangalia, nikiwa na lengo nione facial expression yake, alikua anatabasam, “I don’t know if that’s true”, nikamjibu. Kimya kikapita, nikageuka tena kumcheki, nikakuta ameangalia nje, uso unaonesha kama macho ameyafinya hivi kuonesha kuna kitu anakiwaza.

Akiwa bado ameangalia nje akanambia, “Kiga…. Since that day pale IFM, sijawahi kuwa sawa. Kila nikikumbuka najisikia mkosaji na nisiestahili hata kukuomba msamaha. Maneno nliyokutamkia yaliniuma mimi Zaidi hata yalivyokuuma wewe nadhani, ndio, najua yalikuuma Kiga, but nilijiona sifai hata kuwa mama ingawa nlikua mjamzito, mama gani anayetukana mama kwa kiwango kile, so ingawa sikuwahi kukuomba msamaha ila hakuna siku nimeacha kukuomba msamaha kabla sijalala” akawa amenyamaza. Nlivomuangalia nikaona michirizi ya machozi kwenye mashavu. Mara zote Nora anakuaga jasiri ambaye haoni haya kukuangalia direct machoni, bt this time, hakua na huo ujasiri. Then akaendelea “I am so sorry. Najua huezi nisamehe, ila naomba walau ujue tu kuwa najutia niliyoyasema mbele yako that day”.

Sikua hata na lakusema. Maana ni kweli sikuwa tayari kusema nimemsamehe, ningekua namdanganya. Akawa anaendelea tu kulia, nlichoweza kusema ni kumuuliza kama naweza kuwa namuona mwanangu nikimhitaji, akajibu “offcourse, he is for both of us” alijitahidi kuongea katikati ya sobs. Then tukasikia, “mlete mtoto”, dah, hatukujua hata Nasra alikua ameamka mda gani na amesikia kwa kiasi gani. Bt naona Nora hakua anajali sana, alivomkabidhi Nasra mtoto, akawa anataka kuendelea kusema kitu, bt ghafla tunaona traffic police mbele ametupiga mkono…… ikabidi anachosema akiahirishe kwanza. Baada ya afande kutulima faini pale, safari ikaendelea, bt hakuna kilichozungumzwa mpaka tunafika Korogwe.

Pale Korogwe tulipaki kupata msosi na kupumzika kidogo. Mimi nikaanza kupiga vyombo pale, so kuanzia pale Korogwe Nasra ndo alituendesha. Nora yeye alichukua usukani Chalinze pale maana mwenyeji mjini. Nakumbuka tumefika dsm jioni sana, Nasra kwao Magomeni, Nora Tabata so the easiest route ilikua tumpitishe Nora then nimpitishe Nasra, ila Nora akashauri tumpitishe kwanza Nasra asije chelewa wazazi wakammind. Hatukupinga, akadrive mpaka magomeni, then akageuza gari mpaka Tabata. Tulivofika akauliza tu, lini nataka kumuona dogo, nikamwambia next weekend, akasema poa tutaarrange.

Nikarudi zangu home. Kufika namkura Nasra hahahaha. Vipi? Anasema eti amejisikia tu kulala Mwananyamala leo. Baada ya kula, kuogeshana na kulana ndo ananiambia, “Nora anakupenda kinoma, and am happy atlast mmesahau yaliyopita”, anayasema haya huku anachezea dushe na kunikiss shingoni. “mi na Nora ni ngum kuwa pamoja, kila mtu alimfanyia mwenzie kitu kisichosameheka”, akaniambia alimsikia Nora akiomba msamaha kwenye gari, na kwa jinsi anavyoongea atakua ashakusamehe chochote ulichomfanyia. Akawa anazidi nikiss mara mdomoni, mara kifuani everywhere, nikaanza na mimi kupapasa upaja, mtoto alikua amejazia fresh sana yani. Yaani kupapasa tu unaeza anza piga kelele za kusikia utam. Tulifanyana kinoma that night.

Kitu kilichonishangaza ni kuwa, urafiki wa Nasra na Nora ukaanza kukua na kushamiri. Yaani alipo huyu mwingine humkosi. Siku nyingine unashangaa tu Nasra kaja home akiwa na Tafari then jioni anamrudisha tabata. So tukawa tunahang out wote watatu sasa, kama ni beach tutaenda wote, outing wote bt yote because ya ule ukaribu wa hawa watu, maana hata mkiwa out, wao ndo walikua wanahave fun, kama ni kuogelea wataogelea wote na kucheza pamoja, yani kiukweli mi nlikua naenda sababu ya mtoto tu sanasana. Ila ile kulana na Nasra ikawa inapungua sana, visababu vya ajabu atu atakupa. Na akikubali baada ya kumla atakwambia usimwambie Nora. Yaani tukawa tunajificha mno, na ni mara chache sana atakubali umle.

Kumbe sababu hata sio Nora. I remember after some months za huu urafiki, oneday tuko kigamboni huko kula upepo wa beach. Nasra akawa yuko pande za swimming pool na Tafari anaogelea nae. Nora ndo akaniambia, “Nasra kuna kitu anatamani kukwambia bt anashindwa”, nikashtuka, “kitu gani,?”, Nora akaniangalia usoni, with a half smile, akaniambia, “she is pregnant”, nikawa nimezubaa sijui cha kusema, Nora akaendelea, “hana uhakika kama ni ya kwako au ya Mussa”, kidogo nikapata afadhali. Muda huo ndo Nasra nae anakuja na dogo. Ile anafika tulipokaa alivyoona ule ukimya akajua tu nimeambiwa, akamgeukia rafiki yake, “Noraaa!!”, “He deserves to know, I had to tell him maana najua wewe usingeweza” akamjibu pale. Basi Nasra akakaa pia na aibu kibao. Nikamuuliza, “ina muda gani?” kajibu “miwili”, “unahisi ni ya nani kati yetu”, “I don’t know” akaanza kulia. “sasa ukilia itasaidia nini” nikamwambia, Nora ndo akamjibia rafiki yake, “we unazani jambo dogo hili, she feels confused, we should help her not accuse or blame her”, nikamgeukia tena Nasra, “ushaongea na Mussa?”, akajibu, “sijamwambia kuhusu mimba, nikimwambia tu atataka ndoa na sijajua kama ni yake”,

ikabidi tuanze kumhoji poa kuhusu siku zake na kulinganisha na siku tumefanya. Mahesabu tuliyopiga tena kwa calculator bado hata sisi hayakutupa majibu ya moja kwa moja, yaani mimba ni yangu au ya Mussa, maana tunaongelea difference ya one day. Tukaondoka pale na muafaka kuwa uwezekano umelalia Zaidi kwa Mussa, so akaongee nae. Nasra akakubali.

Miezi michache mbele Nasra akafunga ndoa na Mussa. Nakumbuka mi na Nora ndo tulishughurikia kila kitu. Nakumbuka usiku baada ya sherehe ya ndoa, nlimrudisha Nora home kwao. Tulivofika nje ya nyumba yao, nikawa nasubiria ashuke, lakini naona hashuki. Wote tulikua tumepata glasses kadhaa za wine. Akaniambia, “Nasra mke wa mtu now, inabidi umheshim”, nikamwambia “mimi na wake za watu wapi na wapi?” akacheka, “umesahau eeh?”, ndo nikakumbuka, dah. “Im sorry Nora, am sorry for everything”, akanishika mkono akasema, “I know”. Then akawa anataka kunikiss shavu, mi nikajikwepesha nikamuwekea lips, basi hakua na jinsi, akabidi azinyonye.

That day alichofanya nikuniambia “twen’zetu mwananyamala”. Ilipigwa mechi moja matata. Ilikua mechi ya kuombana msamaha, mechi ya kupeana adhabu kwa makosa tuliyotendeana, mechi ya kuambiana tulivyomisiana, mechi ya kuambiana namna tunavyopendana, it was sex that was full of emotions. Nora alishindwa kujizuia, alilia balaa that day. Mpaka leo nashindwa elewa kilichomliza, labda ni ile hisia kuwa rasmi ameruhusu rombo iliyopita kwa mama yake impitie pia, tena akiwa anafaham. Bt all in all, muda wote alinihug kama anaogopa kuniachia nitamuacha. We decided to forget what has happened and concentrate on making each other happy.

Kesho yake alihamia kabisa na mtoto.

Well, nikama stori imeisha vile sivyo?, hhahahahah, wazee wanasema, it is not over until it is over.

…….The end of the beginning……..

Familia yetu na ile ya Nasra na Mussa ziliendelea kuwa karibu. Hasa ukaribu wa Nora na Nasra. Nasra alifanikiwa kujifungua watoto mapacha, boy and a girl. Wakati wanazaliwa sikuhisi kitu, bt tulivorudi home Nora ndo akanambia, “wale watoto ni wako bro”. sikuamini. But baada ya miezi sita, ndo nikaona kabisa hawa wangu hawa. Ila ndo ntafanyaje. Nlijua kabisa Nasra amelitambua hilo bt sio sisi wala yeye aliyelizungumzia. Kwa upande wa Mussa sijui alijua akaamua kuuchuna, au hakua ametambua bado.

Watoto wakiwa na miezi saba tu, tukapata taarifa Mussa amepata ajali ya gari. And after two days he passed away. Baada ya maziko, Nasra akarudi kwao magomeni, but hali ya kifedha ya wazazi haikua nzuri sana, so Nora akawa anajitahidi kumpa tafu rafiki yake ila yale mazingira hayakua condusive kwa watoto. Nora ndo alisuggest, akanambia wale watoto itabidi tufanye namna tuwachukue.

Sijui Nora alimshawishi vipi Nasra, akakubali akahamia pale kwangu. Mwanzo akawa ananionea sana aibu, hata sikujua sababu. But kadri miezi ilivyoenda ndo alizidi kunizoea kama shemeji sasa. Kule Arusha biashara home zilikua zinayumba balaa. Nikamwambia sis, Nora aingie kwenye management. So baada ya chuo tu kuisha, Nora akawa muda mwingi yupo Arusha. Dsm tukawa tunabaki na Nasra. Akiwa Arusha Nora akawa ananiambia, ukijisikia kula we mle, I know anakupenda, na najua wanaume utakua unamtamani ila unaogopa hahahha. Nikawa kwa kweli sina mpango.

Nakumbuka ilichukua few months Nora kubadilisha hali ya kampuni, hadi akafungua tawi lingine hapa Dar, ili kurahisisha export processes. So Nasra akapewa job kwenye ofisi ya dar. Everyone was happy. Nora oneday akaniuliza kama nshakula, nikajibu hapana, akanambia tu shauri yako, mzigo utaanza kuliwa na majirani then watoto wako wapate baba mpya….. Nora alikua serious, sijua aliongea nini na Nasra, but one day Nora akiwa hayupo, nikashangaa kuanza kuona mabadiliko ya kimavazi akiwa mle ndani. Sometimes sketi fupi, sometimes bukta dah, na ile shepu nikajua tu hapa nakaribishwa. Kama utani tu siku moja tumekutana kwenye korido, nikamshika mkono nikaanza kumuongoza room kwake, naona anakuja tu hata hapingi.

Nora yeye alinipenda sana tu. But alikua na ule userious flani hivi na misimamo ile ya kama umekosea atakuchana live, so ule ‘u-kike’ hakua nao sana. Nasra yeye ni kama amefundwa namna ya kumhandle mwanaume. She made sure nimekula vizuri, nimeoga, nimenukia na alikua na ule upole wa kike, yaani hata kama hajakosea atakuomba msamaha. Cha muhim Zaidi alimheshim sana Nora, akiwepo hajishughurishi kabisa na mimi. Na niliona ubest wao ndo unazidi. Nasra akawa ananipush sasa nioe ili niwe kwenye ndoa. Nikamwambia, nikioa si ataninyima, “Mama Tafa mwenyewe keshaidhinisha, mimi sina mpango wa kuolewa tena wala kuongeza mtoto, as long as im with the man I love nimeridhika kuwa nilivyo”

Kweli tulifunga ndoa, tukahamia mitaa ya tegeta nyumba kubwa Zaidi. Now miaka minne since nimemuoa Nora. Kama unajiuliza Nora alikua serious kuruhusu kushare na Nasra, jibu ni ndiyo. Sio mara moja ashanisurprise kwa threesome. Sometimes hotel room najua yuko alone, nawakuta wote wako ready kuliwa. Sometimes naangalia football sitting room nikienda kulala nawakuta wote bed, Tunapiga mechi ya mtu tatu kiroho safi.

Kwa sasa game za Nasra zimepungua kiasi maana alihamia Arusha, na Nora akaja Dar. Kids wote wako na Nasra Arusha, we are planning kuongeza mtoto mwingine na Nora. And by the way, watoto wa Nasra wakiwa wadogo kabisa tuliwabadilishia kabisa na vyeti vya kuzaliwa, ndugu wa Mussa ilibidi waambiwe ukweli kuwa damu sio yao.

So ladies and gentlemen, that’s a story of how i met my dear wife Nora.

MWISHO wa SEASON 1